Dracula by Bram Stoker(12)

great and noble race, though now and again were scions
who were held by their coevals to have had dealings with
the Evil One. They learned his secrets in the
Scholomance, amongst the mountains over Lake
Hermanstadt, where the devil claims the tenth scholar as
his due. In the records are such words as ‘stregoica’ witch,
‘ordog’ and ‘pokol’ Satan and hell, and in one manuscript
this very Dracula is spoken of as ‘wampyr,’which we all
understand too well. There have been from the loins of
this very one great men and good women, and their
graves make sacred the earth where alone this foulness can
dwell. For it is not the least of its terrors that this evil thing
is rooted deep in all good, in soil barren of holy memories
it cannot rest.’
Whilst they were talking Mr. Morris was looking
steadily at the window, and he now got up quietly, and
went out of the room. There was a little pause, and then
the Professor went on.
‘And now we must settle what we do. We have here
much data, and we must proceed to lay out our campaign.
We know from the inquiry of Jonathan that from the
castle to Whitby came fifty boxes of earth, all of which
were delivered at Carfax, we also know that at least some
of these boxes have been removed. It seems to me, that
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our first step should be to ascertain whether all the rest
remain in the house beyond that wall where we look
today, or whether any more have been removed. If the
latter, we must trace …’

Here we were interrupted in a very startling way.
Outside the house came the sound of a pistol shot, the
glass of the window was shattered with a bullet, which
ricochetting from the top of the embrasure, struck the far
wall of the room. I am afraid I am at heart a coward, for I
shrieked out. The men all jumped to their feet, Lord
Godalming flew over to the window and threw up the
sash. As he did so we heard Mr. Morris’ voice without,
‘Sorry! I fear I have alarmed you. I shall come in and tell
you about it.’
A minute later he came in and said, ‘It was an idiotic
thing of me to do, and I ask your pardon, Mrs. Harker,
most sincerely, I fear I must have frightened you terribly.
But the fact is that whilst the Professor was talking there
came a big bat and sat on the window sill. I have got such
a horror of the damned brutes from recent events that I
cannot stand them, and I went out to have a shot, as I
have been doing of late of evenings, whenever I have seen
one. You used to laugh at me for it then, Art.’
‘Did you hit it?’ asked Dr. Van Helsing.
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‘I don’t know, I fancy not, for it flew away into the
wood.’ Without saying any more he took his seat, and the
Professor began to resume his statement.
‘We must trace each of these boxes, and when we are
ready, we must either capture or kill this monster in his
lair, or we must, so to speak, sterilize the earth, so that no
more he can seek safety in it. Thus in the end we may find
him in his form of man between the hours of noon and
sunset, and so engage with him when he is at his most
weak.
‘And now for you, Madam Mina, this night is the end
until all be well. You are too precious to us to have such
risk. When we part tonight, you no more must question.
We shall tell you all in good time. We are men and are
able to bear, but you must be our star and our hope, and
we shall act all the more free that you are not in the
danger, such as we are.’
All the men, even Jonathan, seemed relieved, but it did
not seem to me good that they should brave danger and,
perhaps lessen their safety, strength being the best safety,
through care of me, but their minds were made up, and
though it was a bitter pill for me to swallow, I could say
nothing, save to accept their chivalrous care of me.
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Mr. Morris resumed the discussion, ‘As there is no time
to lose, I vote we have a look at his house right now.
Time is everything with him, and swift action on our part
may save another victim.’
I own that my heart began to fail me when the time for
action came so close, but I did not say anything, for I had
a greater fear that if I appeared as a drag or a hindrance to
their work, they might even leave me out of their counsels
altogether. They have now gone off to Carfax, with means
to get into the house.
Manlike, they had told me to go to bed and sleep, as if
a woman can sleep when those she loves are in danger! I
shall lie down, and pretend to sleep, lest Jonathan have
added anxiety about me when he returns.
DR. SEWARD’S DIARY
1 October, 4 A.M.—Just as we were about to leave the
house, an urgent message was brought to me from
Renfield to know if I would see him at once, as he had
something of the utmost importance to say to me. I told
the messenger to say that I would attend to his wishes in
the morning, I was busy just at the moment.
The attendant added, ‘He seems very importunate, sir. I
have never seen him so eager. I don’t know but what, if
you don’t see him soon, he will have one of his violent
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fits.’ I knew the man would not have said this without
some cause, so I said, ‘All right, I’ll go now,’ and I asked
the others to wait a few minutes for me, as I had to go and
see my patient.
‘Take me with you, friend John,’ said the Professor.
‘His case in your diary interest me much, and it had
bearing, too, now and again on our case. I should much
like to see him, and especial when his mind is disturbed.’
‘May I come also?’ asked Lord Godalming.
‘Me too?’ said Quincey Morris. ‘May I come?’ said
Harker. I nodded, and we all went down the passage
together.
We found him in a state of considerable excitement,
but far more rational in his speech and manner than I had
ever seen him. There was an unusual understanding of
himself, which was unlike anything I had ever met with in
a lunatic, and he took it for granted that his reasons would
prevail with others entirely sane. We all five went into the
room, but none of the others at first said anything. His
request was that I would at once release him from the
asylum and send him home. This he backed up with
arguments regarding his complete recovery, and adduced
his own existing sanity.
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‘I appeal to your friends, ‘he said, ‘they will, perhaps,
not mind sitting in judgement on my case. By the way,
you have not introduced me.’
I was so much astonished, that the oddness of
introducing a madman in an asylum did not strike me at
the moment, and besides, there was a certain dignity in the
man’s manner, so much of the habit of equality, that I at
once made the introduction, ‘Lord Godalming, Professor
Van Helsing, Mr. Quincey Morris, of Texas, Mr. Jonathan
Harker, Mr. Renfield.’
He shook hands with each of them, saying in turn,
‘Lord Godalming, I had the honour of seconding your
father at the Windham, I grieve to know, by your holding
the title, that he is no more. He was a man loved and
honoured by all who knew him, and in his youth was, I
have heard, the inventor of a burnt rum punch, much
patronized on Derby night. Mr. Morris, you should be
proud of your great state. Its reception into the Union was
a precedent which may have far-reaching effects hereafter,
when the Pole and the Tropics may hold alliance to the
Stars and Stripes. The power of Treaty may yet prove a
vast engine of enlargement, when the Monroe doctrine
takes its true place as a political fable. What shall any man
say of his pleasure at meeting Van Helsing? Sir, I make no
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apology for dropping all forms of conventional prefix.
When an individual has revolutionized therapeutics by his
discovery of the continuous evolution of brain matter,
conventional forms are unfitting, since they would seem to
limit him to one of a class. You, gentlemen, who by
nationality, by heredity, or by the possession of natural
gifts, are fitted to hold your respective places in the
moving world, I take to witness that I am as sane as at least
the majority of men who are in full possession of their
liberties. And I am sure that you, Dr. Seward,
humanitarian and medico-jurist as well as scientist, will
deem it a moral duty to deal with me as one to be
considered as under exceptional circumstances. ‘He made
this last appeal with a courtly air of conviction which was
not without its own charm.
I think we were all staggered. For my own part, I was
under the conviction, despite my knowledge of the man’s
character and history, that his reason had been restored,
and I felt under a strong impulse to tell him that I was
satisfied as to his sanity, and would see about the necessary
formalities for his release in the morning. I thought it
better to wait, however, before making so grave a
statement, for of old I knew the sudden changes to which
this particular patient was liable. So I contented myself
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with making a general statement that he appeared to be
improving very rapidly, that I would have a longer chat
with him in the morning, and would then see what I
could do in the direction of meeting his wishes.
This did not at all satisfy him, for he said quickly, ‘But I
fear, Dr. Seward, that you hardly apprehend my wish. I
desire to go at once, here, now, this very hour, this very
moment, if I may. Time presses, and in our implied
agreement with the old scytheman it is of the essence of
the contract. I am sure it is only necessary to put before so
admirable a practitioner as Dr. Seward so simple, yet so
momentous a wish, to ensure its fulfilment.’
He looked at me keenly, and seeing the negative in my
face, turned to the others, and scrutinized them closely.
Not meeting any sufficient response, he went on, ‘Is it
possible that I have erred in my supposition?’
‘You have,’ I said frankly, but at the same time, as I
felt, brutally.
There was a considerable pause, and then he said
slowly, ‘Then I suppose I must only shift my ground of
request. Let me ask for this concession, boon, privilege,
what you will. I am content to implore in such a case, not
on personal grounds, but for the sake of others. I am not at
liberty to give you the whole of my reasons, but you may,
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I assure you, take it from me that they are good ones,
sound and unselfish, and spring from the highest sense of
duty.
‘Could you look, sir, into my heart, you would
approve to the full the sentiments which animate me.
Nay, more, you would count me amongst the best and
truest of your friends.’
Again he looked at us all keenly. I had a growing
conviction that this sudden change of his entire intellectual
method was but yet another phase of his madness, and so
determined to let him go on a little longer, knowing from
experience that he would, like all lunatics, give himself
away in the end. Van Helsing was gazing at him with a
look of utmost intensity, his bushy eyebrows almost
meeting with the fixed concentration of his look. He said
to Renfield in a tone which did not surprise me at the
time, but only when I thought of it afterwards, for it was
as of one addressing an equal, ‘Can you not tell frankly
your real reason for wishing to be free tonight? I will
undertake that if you will satisfy even me, a stranger,
without prejudice, and with the habit of keeping an open
mind, Dr. Seward will give you, at his own risk and on his
own responsibility, the privilege you seek.’
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He shook his head sadly, and with a look of poignant
regret on his face. The Professor went on, ‘Come, sir,
bethink yourself. You claim the privilege of reason in the
highest degree, since you seek to impress us with your
complete reasonableness. You do this, whose sanity we
have reason to doubt, since you are not yet released from
medical treatment for this very defect. If you will not help
us in our effort to choose the wisest course, how can we
perform the duty which you yourself put upon us? Be
wise, and help us, and if we can we shall aid you to
achieve your wish.’
He still shook his head as he said, ‘Dr. Van Helsing, I
have nothing to say. Your argument is complete, and if I
were free to speak I should not hesitate a moment, but I
am not my own master in the matter. I can only ask you
to trust me. If I am refused, the responsibility does not rest
with me.’
I thought it was now time to end the scene, which was
becoming too comically grave, so I went towards the
door, simply saying, ‘Come, my friends, we have work to
do. Goodnight.’
As, however, I got near the door, a new change came
over the patient. He moved towards me so quickly that
for the moment I feared that he was about to make
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another homicidal attack. My fears, however, were
groundless, for he held up his two hands imploringly, and
made his petition in a moving manner. As he saw that the
very excess of his emotion was militating against him, by
restoring us more to our old relations, he became still
more demonstrative. I glanced at Van Helsing, and saw
my conviction reflected in his eyes, so I became a little
more fixed in my manner, if not more stern, and
motioned to him that his efforts were unavailing. I had
previously seen something of the same constantly growing
excitement in him when he had to make some request of
which at the time he had thought much, such for instance,
as when he wanted a cat, and I was prepared to see the
collapse into the same sullen acquiescence on this
occasion.
My expectation was not realized, for when he found
that his appeal would not be successful, he got into quite a
frantic condition. He threw himself on his knees, and held
up his hands, wringing them in plaintive supplication, and
poured forth a torrent of entreaty, with the tears rolling
down his cheeks, and his whole face and form expressive
of the deepest emotion.
‘Let me entreat you, Dr. Seward, oh, let me implore
you, to let me out of this house at once. Send me away
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how you will and where you will, send keepers with me
with whips and chains, let them take me in a strait
waistcoat, manacled and leg-ironed, even to gaol, but let
me go out of this. You don’t know what you do by
keeping me here. I am speaking from the depths of my
heart, of my very soul. You don’t know whom you
wrong, or how, and I may not tell. Woe is me! I may not
tell. By all you hold sacred, by all you hold dear, by your
love that is lost, by your hope that lives, for the sake of the
Almighty, take me out of this and save my soul from guilt!
Can’t you hear me, man? Can’t you understand? Will you
never learn? Don’t you know that I am sane and earnest
now, that I am no lunatic in a mad fit, but a sane man
fighting for his soul? Oh, hear me! Hear me! Let me go,
let me go, let me go!’
I thought that the longer this went on the wilder he
would get, and so would bring on a fit, so I took him by
the hand and raised him up.
‘Come,’ I said sternly, ‘no more of this, we have had
quite enough already. Get to your bed and try to behave
more discreetly.’
He suddenly stopped and looked at me intently for
several moments. Then, without a word, he rose and
moving over, sat down on the side of the bed. The
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collapse had come, as on former occasions, just as I had
expected.
When I was leaving the room, last of our party, he said
to me in a quiet, well-bred voice, ‘You will, I trust, Dr.
Seward, do me the justice to bear in mind, later on, that I
did what I could to convince you tonight.’
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Chapter 19
JONATHAN HARKER’S JOURNAL
1 October, 5 A.M.—I went with the party to the
search with an easy mind, for I think I never saw Mina so
absolutely strong and well. I am so glad that she consented
to hold back and let us men do the work. Somehow, it
was a dread to me that she was in this fearful business at
all, but now that her work is done, and that it is due to
her energy and brains and foresight that the whole story is
put together in such a way that every point tells, she may
well feel that her part is finished, and that she can
henceforth leave the rest to us. We were, I think, all a
little upset by the scene with Mr. Renfield. When we
came away from his room we were silent till we got back
to the study.
Then Mr. Morris said to Dr. Seward, ‘Say, Jack, if that
man wasn’t attempting a bluff, he is about the sanest
lunatic I ever saw. I’m not sure, but I believe that he had
some serious purpose, and if he had, it was pretty rough
on him not to get a chance.’
Lord Godalming and I were silent, but Dr. Van Helsing
added, ‘Friend John, you know more lunatics than I do,
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and I’m glad of it, for I fear that if it had been to me to
decide I would before that last hysterical outburst have
given him free. But we live and learn, and in our present
task we must take no chance, as my friend Quincey would
say. All is best as they are.’
Dr. Seward seemed to answer them both in a dreamy
kind of way, ‘I don’t know but that I agree with you. If
that man had been an ordinary lunatic I would have taken
my chance of trusting him, but he seems so mixed up with
the Count in an indexy kind of way that I am afraid of
doing anything wrong by helping his fads. I can’t forget
how he prayed with almost equal fervor for a cat, and then
tried to tear my throat out with his teeth. Besides, he
called the Count ‘lord and master’, and he may want to
get out to help him in some diabolical way. That horrid
thing has the wolves and the rats and his own kind to help
him, so I suppose he isn’t above trying to use a respectable
lunatic. He certainly did seem earnest, though. I only
hope we have done what is best. These things, in
conjunction with the wild work we have in hand, help to
unnerve a man.’
The Professor stepped over, and laying his hand on his
shoulder, said in his grave, kindly way, ‘Friend John, have
no fear. We are trying to do our duty in a very sad and
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terrible case, we can only do as we deem best. What else
have we to hope for, except the pity of the good God?’
Lord Godalming had slipped away for a few minutes,
but now he returned. He held up a little silver whistle, as
he remarked, ‘That old place may be full of rats, and if so,
I’ve got an antidote on call.’
Having passed the wall, we took our way to the house,
taking care to keep in the shadows of the trees on the
lawn when the moonlight shone out. When we got to the
porch the Professor opened his bag and took out a lot of
things, which he laid on the step, sorting them into four
little groups, evidently one for each. Then he spoke.
‘My friends, we are going into a terrible danger, and
we need arms of many kinds. Our enemy is not merely
spiritual. Remember that he has the strength of twenty
men, and that, though our necks or our windpipes are of
the common kind, and therefore breakable or crushable,
his are not amenable to mere strength. A stronger man, or
a body of men more strong in all than him, can at certain
times hold him, but they cannot hurt him as we can be
hurt by him. We must, therefore, guard ourselves from his
touch. Keep this near your heart.’ As he spoke he lifted a
little silver crucifix and held it out to me, I being nearest
to him, ‘put these flowers round your neck,’ here he
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handed to me a wreath of withered garlic blossoms, ‘for
other enemies more mundane, this revolver and this knife,
and for aid in all, these so small electric lamps, which you
can fasten to your breast, and for all, and above all at the
last, this, which we must not desecrate needless.’
This was a portion of Sacred Wafer, which he put in an
envelope and handed to me. Each of the others was
similarly equipped.
‘Now,’ he said, ‘friend John, where are the skeleton
keys? If so that we can open the door, we need not break
house by the window, as before at Miss Lucy’s.’
Dr. Seward tried one or two skeleton keys, his
mechanical dexterity as a surgeon standing him in good
stead. Presently he got one to suit, after a little play back
and forward the bolt yielded, and with a rusty clang, shot
back. We pressed on the door, the rusty hinges creaked,
and it slowly opened. It was startlingly like the image
conveyed to me in Dr. Seward’s diary of the opening of
Miss Westenra’s tomb, I fancy that the same idea seemed
to strike the others, for with one accord they shrank back.
The Professor was the first to move forward, and stepped
into the open door.
‘In manus tuas, Domine!’ he said, crossing himself as he
passed over the threshold. We closed the door behind us,
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lest when we should have lit our lamps we should possibly
attract attention from the road. The Professor carefully
tried the lock, lest we might not be able to open it from
within should we be in a hurry making our exit. Then we
all lit our lamps and proceeded on our search.
The light from the tiny lamps fell in all sorts of odd
forms, as the rays crossed each other, or the opacity of our
bodies threw great shadows. I could not for my life get
away from the feeling that there was someone else
amongst us. I suppose it was the recollection, so
powerfully brought home to me by the grim
surroundings, of that terrible experience in Transylvania. I
think the feeling was common to us all, for I noticed that
the others kept looking over their shoulders at every
sound and every new shadow, just as I felt myself doing.
The whole place was thick with dust. The floor was
seemingly inches deep, except where there were recent
footsteps, in which on holding down my lamp I could see
marks of hobnails where the dust was cracked. The walls
were fluffy and heavy with dust, and in the corners were
masses of spider’s webs, whereon the dust had gathered till
they looked like old tattered rags as the weight had torn
them partly down. On a table in the hall was a great
bunch of keys, with a time-yellowed label on each. They
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had been used several times, for on the table were several
similar rents in the blanket of dust, similar to that exposed
when the Professor lifted them.
He turned to me and said, ‘You know this place,
Jonathan. You have copied maps of it, and you know it at
least more than we do. Which is the way to the chapel?’
I had an idea of its direction, though on my former
visit I had not been able to get admission to it, so I led the
way, and after a few wrong turnings found myself opposite
a low, arched oaken door, ribbed with iron bands.
‘This is the spot,’ said the Professor as he turned his
lamp on a small map of the house, copied from the file of
my original correspondence regarding the purchase. With
a little trouble we found the key on the bunch and opened
the door. We were prepared for some unpleasantness, for
as we were opening the door a faint, malodorous air
seemed to exhale through the gaps, but none of us ever
expected such an odour as we encountered. None of the
others had met the Count at all at close quarters, and
when I had seen him he was either in the fasting stage of
his existence in his rooms or, when he was bloated with
fresh blood, in a ruined building open to the air, but here
the place was small and close, and the long disuse had
made the air stagnant and foul. There was an earthy smell,
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as of some dry miasma, which came through the fouler air.
But as to the odour itself, how shall I describe it? It was
not alone that it was composed of all the ills of mortality
and with the pungent, acrid smell of blood, but it seemed
as though corruption had become itself corrupt. Faugh! It
sickens me to think of it. Every breath exhaled by that
monster seemed to have clung to the place and intensified
its loathsomeness.
Under ordinary circumstances such a stench would
have brought our enterprise to an end, but this was no
ordinary case, and the high and terrible purpose in which
we were involved gave us a strength which rose above
merely physical considerations. After the involuntary
shrinking consequent on the first nauseous whiff, we one
and all set about our work as though that loathsome place
were a garden of roses.
We made an accurate examination of the place, the
Professor saying as we began, ‘The first thing is to see how
many of the boxes are left, we must then examine every
hole and corner and cranny and see if we cannot get some
clue as to what has become of the rest.’
A glance was sufficient to show how many remained,
for the great earth chests were bulky, and there was no
mistaking them.
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There were only twenty-nine left out of the fifty! Once
I got a fright, for, seeing Lord Godalming suddenly turn
and look out of the vaulted door into the dark passage
beyond, I looked too, and for an instant my heart stood
still. Somewhere, looking out from the shadow, I seemed
to see the high lights of the Count’s evil face, the ridge of
the nose, the red eyes, the red lips, the awful pallor. It was
only for a moment, for, as Lord Godalming said, ‘I
thought I saw a face, but it was only the shadows,’ and
resumed his inquiry, I turned my lamp in the direction,
and stepped into the passage. There was no sign of
anyone, and as there were no corners, no doors, no
aperture of any kind, but only the solid walls of the
passage, there could be no hiding place even for him. I
took it that fear had helped imagination, and said nothing.
A few minutes later I saw Morris step suddenly back
from a corner, which he was examining. We all followed
his movements with our eyes, for undoubtedly some
nervousness was growing on us, and we saw a whole mass
of phosphorescence, which twinkled like stars. We all
instinctively drew back. The whole place was becoming
alive with rats.
For a moment or two we stood appalled, all save Lord
Godalming, who was seemingly prepared for such an
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emergency. Rushing over to the great iron-bound oaken
door, which Dr. Seward had described from the outside,
and which I had seen myself, he turned the key in the
lock, drew the huge bolts, and swung the door open.
Then, taking his little silver whistle from his pocket, he
blew a low, shrill call. It was answered from behind Dr.
Seward’s house by the yelping of dogs, and after about a
minute three terriers came dashing round the corner of the
house. Unconsciously we had all moved towards the door,
and as we moved I noticed that the dust had been much
disturbed. The boxes which had been taken out had been
brought this way. But even in the minute that had elapsed
the number of the rats had vastly increased. They seemed
to swarm over the place all at once, till the lamplight,
shining on their moving dark bodies and glittering, baleful
eyes, made the place look like a bank of earth set with
fireflies. The dogs dashed on, but at the threshold suddenly
stopped and snarled, and then, simultaneously lifting their
noses, began to howl in most lugubrious fashion. The rats
were multiplying in thousands, and we moved out.
Lord Godalming lifted one of the dogs, and carrying
him in, placed him on the floor. The instant his feet
touched the ground he seemed to recover his courage, and
rushed at his natural enemies. They fled before him so fast
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that before he had shaken the life out of a score, the other
dogs, who had by now been lifted in the same manner,
had but small prey ere the whole mass had vanished.
With their going it seemed as if some evil presence had
departed, for the dogs frisked about and barked merrily as
they made sudden darts at their prostrate foes, and turned
them over and over and tossed them in the air with
vicious shakes. We all seemed to find our spirits rise.
Whether it was the purifying of the deadly atmosphere by
the opening of the chapel door, or the relief which we
experienced by finding ourselves in the open I know not,
but most certainly the shadow of dread seemed to slip
from us like a robe, and the occasion of our coming lost
something of its grim significance, though we did not
slacken a whit in our resolution. We closed the outer door
and barred and locked it, and bringing the dogs with us,
began our search of the house. We found nothing
throughout except dust in extraordinary proportions, and
all untouched save for my own footsteps when I had made
my first visit. Never once did the dogs exhibit any
symptom of uneasiness, and even when we returned to the
chapel they frisked about as though they had been rabbit
hunting in a summer wood.
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The morning was quickening in the east when we
emerged from the front. Dr. Van Helsing had taken the
key of the hall door from the bunch, and locked the door
in orthodox fashion, putting the key into his pocket when
he had done.
‘So far,’ he said, ‘our night has been eminently
successful. No harm has come to us such as I feared might
be and yet we have ascertained how many boxes are
missing. More than all do I rejoice that this, our first, and
perhaps our most difficult and dangerous, step has been
accomplished without the bringing thereinto our most
sweet Madam Mina or troubling her waking or sleeping
thoughts with sights and sounds and smells of horror
which she might never forget. One lesson, too, we have
learned, if it be allowable to argue a particulari, that the
brute beasts which are to the Count’s command are yet
themselves not amenable to his spiritual power, for look,
these rats that would come to his call, just as from his
castle top he summon the wolves to your going and to
that poor mother’s cry, though they come to him, they
run pell-mell from the so little dogs of my friend Arthur.
We have other matters before us, other dangers, other
fears, and that monster … He has not used his power over
the brute world for the only or the last time tonight. So be
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it that he has gone elsewhere. Good! It has given us
opportunity to cry ‘check’ in some ways in this chess
game, which we play for the stake of human souls. And
now let us go home. The dawn is close at hand, and we
have reason to be content with our first night’s work. It
may be ordained that we have many nights and days to
follow, if full of peril, but we must go on, and from no
danger shall we shrink.’
The house was silent when we got back, save for some
poor creature who was screaming away in one of the
distant wards, and a low, moaning sound from Renfield’s
room. The poor wretch was doubtless torturing himself,
after the manner of the insane, with needless thoughts of
pain.
I came tiptoe into our own room, and found Mina
asleep, breathing so softly that I had to put my ear down
to hear it. She looks paler than usual. I hope the meeting
tonight has not upset her. I am truly thankful that she is to
be left out of our future work, and even of our
deliberations. It is too great a strain for a woman to bear. I
did not think so at first, but I know better now. Therefore
I am glad that it is settled. There may be things which
would frighten her to hear, and yet to conceal them from
her might be worse than to tell her if once she suspected
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that there was any concealment. Henceforth our work is
to be a sealed book to her, till at least such time as we can
tell her that all is finished, and the earth free from a
monster of the nether world. I daresay it will be difficult
to begin to keep silence after such confidence as ours, but
I must be resolute, and tomorrow I shall keep dark over
tonight’s doings, and shall refuse to speak of anything that
has happened. I rest on the sofa, so as not to disturb her.
1 October, later.—I suppose it was natural that we
should have all overslept ourselves, for the day was a busy
one, and the night had no rest at all. Even Mina must have
felt its exhaustion, for though I slept till the sun was high,
I was awake before her, and had to call two or three times
before she awoke. Indeed, she was so sound asleep that for
a few seconds she did not recognize me, but looked at me
with a sort of blank terror, as one looks who has been
waked out of a bad dream. She complained a little of
being tired, and I let her rest till later in the day. We now
know of twenty-one boxes having been removed, and if it
be that several were taken in any of these removals we
may be able to trace them all. Such will, of course,
immensely simplify our labor, and the sooner the matter is
attended to the better. I shall look up Thomas Snelling
today.
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DR. SEWARD’S DIARY
1 October.—It was towards noon when I was
awakened by the Professor walking into my room. He was
more jolly and cheerful than usual, and it is quite evident
that last night’s work has helped to take some of the
brooding weight off his mind.
After going over the adventure of the night he
suddenly said, ‘Your patient interests me much. May it be
that with you I visit him this morning? Or if that you are
too occupy, I can go alone if it may be. It is a new
experience to me to find a lunatic who talk philosophy,
and reason so sound.’
I had some work to do which pressed, so I told him
that if he would go alone I would be glad, as then I should
not have to keep him waiting, so I called an attendant and
gave him the necessary instructions. Before the Professor
left the room I cautioned him against getting any false
impression from my patient.
‘But,’ he answered, ‘I want him to talk of himself and
of his delusion as to consuming live things. He said to
Madam Mina, as I see in your diary of yesterday, that he
had once had such a belief. Why do you smile, friend
John?’
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‘Excuse me,’ I said, ‘but the answer is here.’ I laid my
hand on the typewritten matter. ‘When our sane and
learned lunatic made that very statement of how he used
to consume life, his mouth was actually nauseous with the
flies and spiders which he had eaten just before Mrs.
Harker entered the room.’
Van Helsing smiled in turn. ‘Good!’ he said. ‘Your
memory is true, friend John. I should have remembered.
And yet it is this very obliquity of thought and memory
which makes mental disease such a fascinating study.
Perhaps I may gain more knowledge out of the folly of
this madman than I shall from the teaching of the most
wise. Who knows?’
I went on with my work, and before long was through
that in hand. It seemed that the time had been very short
indeed, but there was Van Helsing back in the study.
‘Do I interrupt?’ he asked politely as he stood at the
door.
‘Not at all,’ I answered. ‘Come in. My work is finished,
and I am free. I can go with you now, if you like.’
‘It is needless, I have seen him!’
‘Well?’
‘I fear that he does not appraise me at much. Our
interview was short. When I entered his room he was
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sitting on a stool in the centre, with his elbows on his
knees, and his face was the picture of sullen discontent. I
spoke to him as cheerfully as I could, and with such a
measure of respect as I could assume. He made no reply
whatever. ‘Don’t you know me?’ I asked. His answer was
not reassuring. ‘I know you well enough, you are the old
fool Van Helsing. I wish you would take yourself and your
idiotic brain theories somewhere else. Damn all thickheaded
Dutchmen!’ Not a word more would he say, but
sat in his implacable sullenness as indifferent to me as
though I had not been in the room at all. Thus departed
for this time my chance of much learning from this so
clever lunatic, so I shall go, if I may, and cheer myself with
a few happy words with that sweet soul Madam Mina.
Friend John, it does rejoice me unspeakable that she is no
more to be pained, no more to be worried with our
terrible things. Though we shall much miss her help, it is
better so.’
‘I agree with you with all my heart,’ I answered
earnestly, for I did not want him to weaken in this matter.
‘Mrs. Harker is better out of it. Things are quite bad
enough for us, all men of the world, and who have been
in many tight places in our time, but it is no place for a
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woman, and if she had remained in touch with the affair,
it would in time infallibly have wrecked her.’
So Van Helsing has gone to confer with Mrs. Harker
and Harker, Quincey and Art are all out following up the
clues as to the earth boxes. I shall finish my round of work
and we shall meet tonight.
MINA HARKER’S JOURNAL
1 October.—It is strange to me to be kept in the dark
as I am today, after Jonathan’s full confidence for so many
years, to see him manifestly avoid certain matters, and
those the most vital of all. This morning I slept late after
the fatigues of yesterday, and though Jonathan was late
too, he was the earlier. He spoke to me before he went
out, never more sweetly or tenderly, but he never
mentioned a word of what had happened in the visit to
the Count’s house. And yet he must have known how
terribly anxious I was. Poor dear fellow! I suppose it must
have distressed him even more than it did me. They all
agreed that it was best that I should not be drawn further
into this awful work, and I acquiesced. But to think that
he keeps anything from me! And now I am crying like a
silly fool, when I know it comes from my husband’s great
love and from the good, good wishes of those other strong
men.
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That has done me good. Well, some day Jonathan will
tell me all. And lest it should ever be that he should think
for a moment that I kept anything from him, I still keep
my journal as usual. Then if he has feared of my trust I
shall show it to him, with every thought of my heart put
down for his dear eyes to read. I feel strangely sad and
low-spirited today. I suppose it is the reaction from the
terrible excitement.
Last night I went to bed when the men had gone,
simply because they told me to. I didn’t feel sleepy, and I
did feel full of devouring anxiety. I kept thinking over
everything that has been ever since Jonathan came to see
me in London, and it all seems like a horrible tragedy,
with fate pressing on relentlessly to some destined end.
Everything that one does seems, no matter how right it
me be, to bring on the very thing which is most to be
deplored. If I hadn’t gone to Whitby, perhaps poor dear
Lucy would be with us now. She hadn’t taken to visiting
the churchyard till I came, and if she hadn’t come there in
the day time with me she wouldn’t have walked in her
sleep. And if she hadn’t gone there at night and asleep,
that monster couldn’t have destroyed her as he did. Oh,
why did I ever go to Whitby? There now, crying again! I
wonder what has come over me today. I must hide it from
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Jonathan, for if he knew that I had been crying twice in
one morning … I, who never cried on my own account,
and whom he has never caused to shed a tear, the dear
fellow would fret his heart out. I shall put a bold face on,
and if I do feel weepy, he shall never see it. I suppose it is
just one of the lessons that we poor women have to learn
…
I can’t quite remember how I fell asleep last night. I
remember hearing the sudden barking of the dogs and a
lot of queer sounds, like praying on a very tumultuous
scale, from Mr. Renfield’s room, which is somewhere
under this. And then there was silence over everything,
silence so profound that it startled me, and I got up and
looked out of the window. All was dark and silent, the
black shadows thrown by the moonlight seeming full of a
silent mystery of their own. Not a thing seemed to be
stirring, but all to be grim and fixed as death or fate, so
that a thin streak of white mist, that crept with almost
imperceptible slowness across the grass towards the house,
seemed to have a sentience and a vitality of its own. I
think that the digression of my thoughts must have done
me good, for when I got back to bed I found a lethargy
creeping over me. I lay a while, but could not quite sleep,
so I got out and looked out of the window again. The
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mist was spreading, and was now close up to the house, so
that I could see it lying thick against the wall, as though it
were stealing up to the windows. The poor man was more
loud than ever, and though I could not distinguish a word
he said, I could in some way recognize in his tones some
passionate entreaty on his part. Then there was the sound
of a struggle, and I knew that the attendants were dealing
with him. I was so frightened that I crept into bed, and
pulled the clothes over my head, putting my fingers in my
ears. I was not then a bit sleepy, at least so I thought, but I
must have fallen asleep, for except dreams, I do not
remember anything until the morning, when Jonathan
woke me. I think that it took me an effort and a little time
to realize where I was, and that it was Jonathan who was
bending over me. My dream was very peculiar, and was
almost typical of the way that waking thoughts become
merged in, or continued in, dreams.
I thought that I was asleep, and waiting for Jonathan to
come back. I was very anxious about him, and I was
powerless to act, my feet, and my hands, and my brain
were weighted, so that nothing could proceed at the usual
pace. And so I slept uneasily and thought. Then it began
to dawn upon me that the air was heavy, and dank, and
cold. I put back the clothes from my face, and found, to
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my surprise, that all was dim around. The gaslight which I
had left lit for Jonathan, but turned down, came only like
a tiny red spark through the fog, which had evidently
grown thicker and poured into the room. Then it
occurred to me that I had shut the window before I had
come to bed. I would have got out to make certain on the
point, but some leaden lethargy seemed to chain my limbs
and even my will. I lay still and endured, that was all. I
closed my eyes, but could still see through my eyelids. (It
is wonderful what tricks our dreams play us, and how
conveniently we can imagine.) The mist grew thicker and
thicker and I could see now how it came in, for I could
see it like smoke, or with the white energy of boiling
water, pouring in, not through the window, but through
the joinings of the door. It got thicker and thicker, till it
seemed as if it became concentrated into a sort of pillar of
cloud in the room, through the top of which I could see
the light of the gas shining like a red eye. Things began to
whirl through my brain just as the cloudy column was
now whirling in the room, and through it all came the
scriptural words ‘a pillar of cloud by day and of fire by
night.’ Was it indeed such spiritual guidance that was
coming to me in my sleep? But the pillar was composed of
both the day and the night guiding, for the fire was in the
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red eye, which at the thought gat a new fascination for
me, till, as I looked, the fire divided, and seemed to shine
on me through the fog like two red eyes, such as Lucy
told me of in her momentary mental wandering when, on
the cliff, the dying sunlight struck the windows of St.
Mary’s Church. Suddenly the horror burst upon me that it
was thus that Jonathan had seen those awful women
growing into reality through the whirling mist in the
moonlight, and in my dream I must have fainted, for all
became black darkness. The last conscious effort which
imagination made was to show me a livid white face
bending over me out of the mist.
I must be careful of such dreams, for they would unseat
one’s reason if there were too much of them. I would get
Dr. Van Helsing or Dr. Seward to prescribe something for
me which would make me sleep, only that I fear to alarm
them. Such a dream at the present time would become
woven into their fears for me. Tonight I shall strive hard
to sleep naturally. If I do not, I shall tomorrow night get
them to give me a dose of chloral, that cannot hurt me for
once, and it will give me a good night’s sleep. Last night
tired me more than if I had not slept at all.
2 October 10 P.M.—Last night I slept, but did not
dream. I must have slept soundly, for I was not waked by
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Jonathan coming to bed, but the sleep has not refreshed
me, for today I feel terribly weak and spiritless. I spent all
yesterday trying to read, or lying down dozing. In the
afternoon, Mr. Renfield asked if he might see me. Poor
man, he was very gentle, and when I came away he kissed
my hand and bade God bless me. Some way it affected me
much. I am crying when I think of him. This is a new
weakness, of which I must be careful. Jonathan would be
miserable if he knew I had been crying. He and the others
were out till dinner time, and they all came in tired. I did
what I could to brighten them up, and I suppose that the
effort did me good, for I forgot how tired I was. After
dinner they sent me to bed, and all went off to smoke
together, as they said, but I knew that they wanted to tell
each other of what had occurred to each during the day. I
could see from Jonathan’s manner that he had something
important to communicate. I was not so sleepy as I should
have been, so before they went I asked Dr. Seward to give
me a little opiate of some kind, as I had not slept well the
night before. He very kindly made me up a sleeping
draught, which he gave to me, telling me that it would do
me no harm, as it was very mild … I have taken it, and am
waiting for sleep, which still keeps aloof. I hope I have not
done wrong, for as sleep begins to flirt with me, a new
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fear comes, that I may have been foolish in thus depriving
myself of the power of waking. I might want it. Here
comes sleep. Goodnight.
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Chapter 20
JONATHAN HARKER’S JOURNAL
1 October, evening.—I found Thomas Snelling in his
house at Bethnal Green, but unhappily he was not in a
condition to remember anything. The very prospect of
beer which my expected coming had opened to him had
proved too much, and he had begun too early on his
expected debauch. I learned, however, from his wife, who
seemed a decent, poor soul, that he was only the assistant
of Smollet, who of the two mates was the responsible
person. So off I drove to Walworth, and found Mr. Joseph
Smollet at home and in his shirtsleeves, taking a late tea
out of a saucer. He is a decent, intelligent fellow, distinctly
a good, reliable type of workman, and with a headpiece of
his own. He remembered all about the incident of the
boxes, and from a wonderful dog-eared notebook, which
he produced from some mysterious receptacle about the
seat of his trousers, and which had hieroglyphical entries in
thick, half-obliterated pencil, he gave me the destinations
of the boxes. There were, he said, six in the cartload
which he took from Carfax and left at 197 Chicksand
Street, Mile End New Town, and another six which he
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deposited at Jamaica Lane, Bermondsey. If then the Count
meant to scatter these ghastly refuges of his over London,
these places were chosen as the first of delivery, so that
later he might distribute more fully. The systematic
manner in which this was done made me think that he
could not mean to confine himself to two sides of
London. He was now fixed on the far east on the northern
shore, on the east of the southern shore, and on the south.
The north and west were surely never meant to be left out
of his diabolical scheme, let alone the City itself and the
very heart of fashionable London in the south-west and
west. I went back to Smollet, and asked him if he could
tell us if any other boxes had been taken from Carfax.
He replied, ‘Well guv’nor, you’ve treated me very
‘an’some’, I had given him half a sovereign, ‘an I’ll tell yer
all I know. I heard a man by the name of Bloxam say four
nights ago in the ‘Are an’ ‘Ounds, in Pincher’s Alley, as
‘ow he an’ his mate ‘ad ‘ad a rare dusty job in a old ‘ouse
at Purfleet. There ain’t a many such jobs as this ‘ere, an’
I’m thinkin’ that maybe Sam Bloxam could tell ye
summut.’
I asked if he could tell me where to find him. I told
him that if he could get me the address it would be worth
another half sovereign to him. So he gulped down the rest
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of his tea and stood up, saying that he was going to begin
the search then and there.
At the door he stopped, and said, ‘Look ‘ere, guv’nor,
there ain’t no sense in me a keepin’ you ‘ere. I may find
Sam soon, or I mayn’t, but anyhow he ain’t like to be in a
way to tell ye much tonight. Sam is a rare one when he
starts on the booze. If you can give me a envelope with a
stamp on it, and put yer address on it, I’ll find out where
Sam is to be found and post it ye tonight. But ye’d better
be up arter ‘im soon in the mornin’, never mind the
booze the night afore.’
This was all practical, so one of the children went off
with a penny to buy an envelope and a sheet of paper, and
to keep the change. When she came back, I addressed the
envelope and stamped it, and when Smollet had again
faithfully promised to post the address when found, I took
my way to home. We’re on the track anyhow. I am tired
tonight, and I want to sleep. Mina is fast asleep, and looks
a little too pale. Her eyes look as though she had been
crying. Poor dear, I’ve no doubt it frets her to be kept in
the dark, and it may make her doubly anxious about me
and the others. But it is best as it is. It is better to be
disappointed and worried in such a way now than to have
her nerve broken. The doctors were quite right to insist
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on her being kept out of this dreadful business. I must be
firm, for on me this particular burden of silence must rest.
I shall not ever enter on the subject with her under any
circumstances. Indeed, It may not be a hard task, after all,
for she herself has become reticent on the subject, and has
not spoken of the Count or his doings ever since we told
her of our decision.
2 October, evening—A long and trying and exciting
day. By the first post I got my directed envelope with a
dirty scrap of paper enclosed, on which was written with a
carpenter’s pencil in a sprawling hand, ‘Sam Bloxam,
Korkrans, 4 Poters Cort, Bartel Street, Walworth. Arsk for
the depite.’
I got the letter in bed, and rose without waking Mina.
She looked heavy and sleepy and pale, and far from well. I
determined not to wake her, but that when I should
return from this new search, I would arrange for her going
back to Exeter. I think she would be happier in our own
home, with her daily tasks to interest her, than in being
here amongst us and in ignorance. I only saw Dr. Seward
for a moment, and told him where I was off to, promising
to come back and tell the rest so soon as I should have
found out anything. I drove to Walworth and found, with
some difficulty, Potter’s Court. Mr. Smollet’s spelling
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misled me, as I asked for Poter’s Court instead of Potter’s
Court. However, when I had found the court, I had no
difficulty in discovering Corcoran’s lodging house.
When I asked the man who came to the door for the
‘depite,’ he shook his head, and said, ‘I dunno ‘im. There
ain’t no such a person ‘ere. I never ‘eard of ‘im in all my
bloomin’ days. Don’t believe there ain’t nobody of that
kind livin’ ‘ere or anywheres.’
I took out Smollet’s letter, and as I read it it seemed to
me that the lesson of the spelling of the name of the court
might guide me. ‘What are you?’ I asked.
‘I’m the depity,’ he answered.
I saw at once that I was on the right track. Phonetic
spelling had again misled me. A half crown tip put the
deputy’s knowledge at my disposal, and I learned that Mr.
Bloxam, who had slept off the remains of his beer on the
previous night at Corcoran’s, had left for his work at
Poplar at five o’clock that morning. He could not tell me
where the place of work was situated, but he had a vague
idea that it was some kind of a ‘new-fangled ware’us,’ and
with this slender clue I had to start for Poplar. It was
twelve o’clock before I got any satisfactory hint of such a
building, and this I got at a coffee shop, where some
workmen were having their dinner. One of them
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suggested that there was being erected at Cross Angel
Street a new ‘cold storage’ building, and as this suited the
condition of a ‘new-fangled ware’us,’ I at once drove to it.
An interview with a surly gatekeeper and a surlier
foreman, both of whom were appeased with the coin of
the realm, put me on the track of Bloxam. He was sent for
on my suggestion that I was willing to pay his days wages
to his foreman for the privilege of asking him a few
questions on a private matter. He was a smart enough
fellow, though rough of speech and bearing. When I had
promised to pay for his information and given him an
earnest, he told me that he had made two journeys
between Carfax and a house in Piccadilly, and had taken
from this house to the latter nine great boxes, ‘main heavy
ones,’ with a horse and cart hired by him for this purpose.
I asked him if he could tell me the number of the
house in Piccadilly, to which he replied, ‘Well, guv’nor, I
forgits the number, but it was only a few door from a big
white church, or somethink of the kind, not long built. It
was a dusty old ‘ouse, too, though nothin’ to the dustiness
of the ‘ouse we tooked the bloomin’ boxes from.’
‘How did you get in if both houses were empty?’
‘There was the old party what engaged me a waitin’ in
the ‘ouse at Purfleet. He ‘elped me to lift the boxes and
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put them in the dray. Curse me, but he was the strongest
chap I ever struck, an’ him a old feller, with a white
moustache, one that thin you would think he couldn’t
throw a shadder.’
How this phrase thrilled through me!
‘Why, ‘e took up ‘is end o’ the boxes like they was
pounds of tea, and me a puffin’ an’ a blowin’ afore I could
upend mine anyhow, an’ I’m no chicken, neither.’
‘How did you get into the house in Piccadilly?’ I asked.
‘He was there too. He must ‘a started off and got there
afore me, for when I rung of the bell he kem an’ opened
the door ‘isself an’ ‘elped me carry the boxes into the ‘all.’
‘The whole nine?’ I asked.
‘Yus, there was five in the first load an’ four in the
second. It was main dry work, an’ I don’t so well
remember ‘ow I got ‘ome.’
I interrupted him, ‘Were the boxes left in the hall?’
‘Yus, it was a big ‘all, an’ there was nothin’ else in it.’
I made one more attempt to further matters. ‘You
didn’t have any key?’
‘Never used no key nor nothink. The old gent, he
opened the door ‘isself an’ shut it again when I druv off. I
don’t remember the last time, but that was the beer.’
‘And you can’t remember the number of the house?’
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‘No, sir. But ye needn’t have no difficulty about that.
It’s a ‘igh ‘un with a stone front with a bow on it, an’ ‘igh
steps up to the door. I know them steps, ‘avin’ ‘ad to carry
the boxes up with three loafers what come round to earn a
copper. The old gent give them shillin’s, an’ they seein’
they got so much, they wanted more. But ‘e took one of
them by the shoulder and was like to throw ‘im down the
steps, till the lot of them went away cussin’.’
I thought that with this description I could find the
house, so having paid my friend for his information, I
started off for Piccadilly. I had gained a new painful
experience. The Count could, it was evident, handle the
earth boxes himself. If so, time was precious, for now that
he had achieved a certain amount of distribution, he
could, by choosing his own time, complete the task
unobserved. At Piccadilly Circus I discharged my cab, and
walked westward. Beyond the Junior Constitutional I
came across the house described and was satisfied that this
was the next of the lairs arranged by Dracula. The house
looked as though it had been long untenanted. The
windows were encrusted with dust, and the shutters were
up. All the framework was black with time, and from the
iron the paint had mostly scaled away. It was evident that
up to lately there had been a large notice board in front of
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the balcony. It had, however, been roughly torn away, the
uprights which had supported it still remaining. Behind
the rails of the balcony I saw there were some loose
boards, whose raw edges looked white. I would have
given a good deal to have been able to see the notice
board intact, as it would, perhaps, have given some clue to
the ownership of the house. I remembered my experience
of the investigation and purchase of Carfax, and I could
not but feel that I could find the former owner there
might be some means discovered of gaining access to the
house.
There was at present nothing to be learned from the
Piccadilly side, and nothing could be done, so I went
around to the back to see if anything could be gathered
from this quarter. The mews were active, the Piccadilly
houses being mostly in occupation. I asked one or two of
the grooms and helpers whom I saw around if they could
tell me anything about the empty house. One of them said
that he heard it had lately been taken, but he couldn’t say
from whom. He told me, however, that up to very lately
there had been a notice board of ‘For Sale’ up, and that
perhaps Mitchell, Sons, & Candy the house agents could
tell me something, as he thought he remembered seeing
the name of that firm on the board. I did not wish to seem
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too eager, or to let my informant know or guess too
much, so thanking him in the usual manner, I strolled
away. It was now growing dusk, and the autumn night
was closing in, so I did not lose any time. Having learned
the address of Mitchell, Sons, & Candy from a directory at
the Berkeley, I was soon at their office in Sackville Street.
The gentleman who saw me was particularly suave in
manner, but uncommunicative in equal proportion.
Having once told me that the Piccadilly house, which
throughout our interview he called a ‘mansion,’ was sold,
he considered my business as concluded. When I asked
who had purchased it, he opened his eyes a thought wider,
and paused a few seconds before replying, ‘It is sold, sir.’
‘Pardon me,’ I said, with equal politeness, ‘but I have a
special reason for wishing to know who purchased it.’
Again he paused longer, and raised his eyebrows still
more. ‘It is sold, sir,’ was again his laconic reply.
‘Surely,’ I said, ‘you do not mind letting me know so
much.’
‘But I do mind,’ he answered. ‘The affairs of their
clients are absolutely safe in the hands of Mitchell, Sons, &
Candy.’
This was manifestly a prig of the first water, and there
was no use arguing with him. I thought I had best meet
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him on his own ground, so I said, ‘Your clients, sir, are
happy in having so resolute a guardian of their confidence.
I am myself a professional man.’
Here I handed him my card. ‘In this instance I am not
prompted by curiosity, I act on the part of Lord
Godalming, who wishes to know something of the
property which was, he understood, lately for sale.’
These words put a different complexion on affairs. He
said, ‘I would like to oblige you if I could, Mr. Harker,
and especially would I like to oblige his lordship. We once
carried out a small matter of renting some chambers for
him when he was the honourable Arthur Holmwood. If
you will let me have his lordship’s address I will consult
the House on the subject, and will, in any case,
communicate with his lordship by tonight’s post. It will be
a pleasure if we can so far deviate from our rules as to give
the required information to his lordship.’
I wanted to secure a friend, and not to make an enemy,
so I thanked him, gave the address at Dr. Seward’s and
came away. It was now dark, and I was tired and hungry. I
got a cup of tea at the Aerated Bread Company and came
down to Purfleet by the next train.
I found all the others at home. Mina was looking tired
and pale, but she made a gallant effort to be bright and
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cheerful. It wrung my heart to think that I had had to
keep anything from her and so caused her inquietude.
Thank God, this will be the last night of her looking on at
our conferences, and feeling the sting of our not showing
our confidence. It took all my courage to hold to the wise
resolution of keeping her out of our grim task. She seems
somehow more reconciled, or else the very subject seems
to have become repugnant to her, for when any accidental
allusion is made she actually shudders. I am glad we made
our resolution in time, as with such a feeling as this, our
growing knowledge would be torture to her.
I could not tell the others of the day’s discovery till we
were alone, so after dinner, followed by a little music to
save appearances even amongst ourselves, I took Mina to
her room and left her to go to bed. The dear girl was
more affectionate with me than ever, and clung to me as
though she would detain me, but there was much to be
talked of and I came away. Thank God, the ceasing of
telling things has made no difference between us.
When I came down again I found the others all
gathered round the fire in the study. In the train I had
written my diary so far, and simply read it off to them as
the best means of letting them get abreast of my own
information.
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