'What's up?' Ish said as I laid my head on the cashbox early morning.
'Nothing. Couldn't sleep well,' I said.
'Why? Thinking of Pandit-ji's daughter,' Ish laughed. I ignored him. Every few hours I had the urge to send Vidya a 'did anything happen' message. But she would tell me if something happened. I opened a calendar and tracked all the past dates of our intimacy. Apart from the first time several months ago, I had used protection every time. Could they be late for any other reason? I didn't know and I could not ask anyone. Ish and Omi probably didn't even know the P-word. And there was no other woman I knew apart from Vidya. And I couldn't ask mom anyway. I picked up my phone again. 'How is it going?', I sent a neutral message. 'Nothing yet', she replied back.
The next night I did get some sleep. I sprang out of bed early morning to SMS her again. I had an SMS from her already, 'a bit of pain, nothing else'.
I threw the phone away. I wanted to reach the shop early to take out supplies from the godown. Somehow, I hated being late anymore.
Eighteen
Are trains ever on time?' Mama's loud voice interrupted us while we were at work. Ish dragged out a heavy box of wickets from the godown.
'Mama, you here so early?' Omi said.
Mama kept two pink paper boxes on the wicket box. He had a tikka from the morning prayers on his forehead.
'I had bought hot kachoris for my son and other sevaks. Their train was supposed to reach at 5 a.m. But it is five hours late. Now what to do? Thought I will have them with you,' Mama said and took out a kachori.
'So leftover breakfast for us?' Omi said and laughed.
'They are absolutely fresh. I'll get more when they come. Eat them while they are still hot, come Ish, Govind,' Mama said.
'Didn't know you boys come here so early,' Mama said. The shop's clock said eight o' clock.
'Had some work in the godown,' I said and took a bite of a kachori. It tasted delicious.
We ordered tea and sat on the stools outside the shop.
Mama talked to Omi about their relatives. Ish and I discussed the delivery plan for the day. The shop didn't open until nine. We could eat in peace.
'Third round of tea? Ok? Yeah good,' Mama said and called for the tea-boy again. I had two kachoris and felt full.
Mama stood up to leave at 9.30 a.m. I wrapped the boxes back for him.
'Keep them,' Mama said, 'I'll get more anyway.'
'No Mama, we have had enough...'
Mama's phone ring interrupted me. Mama picked up the phone. His face became serious. His mouth opened and his eyes darted around.
'I don't know the coach number, why are you asking me?' Mama said.
'What's up Mama?' Omi said.
Mama put his hand on the phone and turned to Omi.
'It is a junior party official in Ayodhya. He put our sevak team in the train the day before. Now he wants the coach number. And he isn't telling me why,' Mama said.
'Wait,' Omi said and went inside the shop. He came out with a notebook.
'Here, I had noted the PNR number and other details while making the booking,' Omi said.
Mama took the notebook and spoke on the phone again.
'Ok listen, they were in S6 ... yeah, it says S6, hundred per cent S6, hello listen ... why are you praying while talking to me? Hey, hello...'
The person on the other end hung up the phone. Mama tried to call the number back but no one picked up. 'What's going on?' I said.
'I don't know. I have to ... I'll go to the station,' Mama said.
'I'll come with you?' Omi said. 'No, it's fine. I had to go anyway. I'll find out,' Mama said and left.
Two hours later the whole country had found out.
'Stop flipping channels," I screamed at Omi, 'they are all showing the same thing.'
We stopped at NDTV. The newsreader repeated the news for the tenth time.
'At least fifty people died and more than a dozen injured when miscreants set fire to a bogie of the Sabarmati Express near the Godhra station in Gujarat on Wednesday morning.' The channel dialled in a railway official from Godhra on the phone.
'Can you tell us what exactly is going on sir?' the newsreader said.
'We are still getting reports. But at around 8.30 in the morning Sabarmati Express arrived at Godhra station,' the official said as his voice waned.
'Hello, can you hear us?' the newsreader said several times.
'Yes, I can now,' the official said and continued his story.
From what the channels knew at that point, a mob stoned a bogie of the Sabarmati Express. The bogie contained kar sevaks returning from Ayodhya. The passengers shut the metal windows to protect themselves from the stones. The mob threw petrol on the bogie and set it on fire.
'What mob is this? Does it look premeditated?' the newsreader asked.
The railway official avoided controversy. 'The police has arrived and are investigating the matter. Only they can comment on this.'
Ish, Omi and I watched TV non-stop. We cancelled all deliveries for the day.
'Mama's not picking up, I've tried ten times,' Omi said and threw his phone aside.
TV channels had reached Godhra station. We saw the burnt bogie. The rest of the train had already left for Ahmedabad. A tea vendor revealed more than the railway official.
'The mob had Muslims. They had an argument with the Hindu kar sevaks and burnt everyone - women, children,' the tea vendor said.
'We have fifty-eight people dead and over twenty injured, as per reports from the Godhra hospital,' the newsreader said, 'and we have just received confirmation that the burnt bogie was S6.'
'Did she say S6?' Omi said, turning to me.
I kept quiet. I didn't want to confirm the bad news.
'Did she? My brother is in that bogie.' Omi said and ran
out.
We came out of the shop. Every shopkeeper had a tense expression.
'They burn little kids, see what kind of a community is this,' a florist said to his neighbouring mithai shop owner.
'Early morning in a railway station. Look at their guts,' another shopkeeper said.
'They struck America in broad daylight too. Now the fuckers have reached Gujarat. And Delhi will suck their dicks,' the florist said. One rarely heard curse words in the temple, but today was different. Of all the days in my life, today was different.
Omi came out of the temple with his father, mother and Mama's wife. All shopkeepers, Ish and I gathered around them.
'Get my Dhiraj. I say get my Dhiraj,' Mama's wife's wails echoed against the temple walls.
'I'll go to the station and find out,' Omi said. He tried Mama's phone again, but it did not connect.
'Don't go, the city is not safe,' the florist said. Omi's mother clutched Omi's hand.
'There could be a curfew soon. Let's shut shops and go home,' a florist said.
The shopkeepers dispersed. Dhiraj's mother's tears didn't stop.
'Don't worry, Mama will call back. The news is sketchy. We don't know what happened,' I said.
'Come home son,' Omi's father said to Omi.
'I'll help them shut the shop,' Omi said.
We went back to the shop. We had to customers that morning, and didn't expect any more.
'Do you have gloves Ish bhaiya? Mine are worn out,' Ali's voice startled us. We had packed the shop by one o'clock.
'What the hell are you doing here?' Ish said.
Ali was taken aback. He wore a yellow T-shirt and an old pair of jeans. Luckily, he wasn't wearing his skull cap.
'I am getting ready for practice. We have one at 4.30 today
no?'
'You haven't seen the news?' I said. 'We don't have TV,' he said. 'And your abba?'
'He took ammi to her parents in Surat. He will come at six.'
'And you didn't go?' Ish said.
'How could I? We had practice. Don't want to do hundred push-ups for missing practice,' Ali said and laughed, 'hey why are you shutting down the shop? My gloves...'
'Nothing, you come with us. Don't be alone at home,' Ish said as he downed the shutters.
'Us?' Omi said in a firm voice.
'You go Omi, your parents and aunt need you,' Ish said. 'And you?' Omi said.
'Am taking Ali home. I'll drop him off when his parents come back.'
Omi looked at me to say something. I shrugged my shoulders.
'You want to come to my place?' Ish said to me. We walked out of the temple compound.
I wanted to see Vidya. But it wasn't the best time, and Vidya would not be in the best mood anyway. I wondered if I should SMS her again.
'No, my mother would be worried too,' I said. She'd probably he in the kitchen, preparing dough for the evening dhokla.
I reached home. Over lunch, I told my mother what had happened at Godhra. My mother made me swear that I'd never fall in love with a Muslim girl. I felt tired after the two sleepless nights and the events on the TV, and took an afternoon nap. Omi's phone call woke me up.
'Hey what's up Omi? Got in touch with Mama?' I said and rubbed my eyes. The phone's clock showed it was 5.30 p.m.
'I lost my brother Govind. He died on the spot,' Omi said and his voice broke. He started crying. I lifted myself off the bed and stood up.
'Mama called. He is devastated,' Omi said.
'Is he at home?' I said.
'No, he went to the party office. All the workers are with him to support him. He told me not to tell his wife or anyone else. Like they haven't guessed.'
'It's horrible. Omi, it's horrible,' I said. I shuddered to think we almost took that trip.
'I can't keep silent at home and not show it. I have to get out,' Omi said.
'Then come home,' I said. 'Where is Ish?' Omi said.
'I don't know, can you stay on the line?' I said. I put Omi's line on hold and called Ish. He picked up after ten rings. 'Ish, where are you? Why do you take so long to pick up?' 'I am at the bank. I came with Ali to practice.' 'Is this the time to practice?'
'What? I became sick of staying at home all day. And dad gave me dirty looks because Ali was with me. So I said, screw it, let's hit some balls.'
'Ish, horrible news. Dhiraj is...,' I said and stopped mid-sentence.
'Oh no,' he said, 'really?'
'Yeah, Omi told me. Mama told him to keep quiet at home. He wants to get out.'
'Come over here then,' Ish said.
'Ok,' I said. I hung up on Ish and switched to the other line. 'Come to the bank. Leave now before it gets dark,' I said to Omi.
'Mom, don't cook for me. We'll make something at the bank,' I said as I left the house.
?
'Trouble has started in the city. I heard a mob burnt two buses down in Jamalpur,' Omi said.
We came to the tuition area of the backyard to have our dinner. Omi had cooked potato curry and rice.
'Rumour or true?' I said.
'True, a local TV channel showed it as I left,' Omi said, It's strange at home. Mami is still praying for Dhiraj's safety.'
Omi's body shook. He broke into tears. I held his hand as he hugged me.
Ali looked at us. I smiled back at him. I went to the room where we kept books and brought back three Phantom comics. I gave them to Ali as he happily read them with his meal.
We sat away from Ali so he could not hear us.
'The mob that burnt the Jamalpur bus, Hindu or Muslim?' 1 said.
'I don't know, I'm really scared,' Omi said.
We finished dinner and cleaned the kitchen by eight. We were planning to leave when Ish's phone rang. It was his dad. Ish hesitated to pick it up and did so only after half a minute.
I had dinner. I'll be back in half an hour...,' Ish said, 'what?'
We turned to look at Ish. I could only hear his side of the conversation.
'Ok ... Ok ... listen, I am at the bank. We are safe here. Yes, I promise we won't walk out on the streets ... yes we have bedding here. Don't panic.'
I gave Ish a puzzled look.
'A building in our pol caught fire,' Ish said.
'Wow, which one?' I said.
'The Muslim one at the corner,' Ish said.
'It caught fire? By itself?' I said.
'That is what dad is hoping. But it could be a Hindu mob. Dad said stay wherever you are.'
'Our moms will worry. Govind's would too,' Omi said.
'Call them,' Ish said, I can't take Ali to his home too. His parents don't even have a phone,' Ish said.
I called my mother and told her I would be safe at the bank. We had slept over at the bank several times in the past. Many booze parties had ended with us passing out on the mattresses in the branch manager's room on the first floor.
We sat on couches in the cashier waiting area and played cards after dinner. Ali slept soon. Ish brought a quilt from the manager's office and tucked him in on a separate sofa.
Omi dropped three cards. 'Three aces,' Omi said with an extra-straight face. He sucks at bluff.
I tapped the cards. I wondered whether to turn them. Loud chants disrupted my thought.
'What's that?' I said. I saw the time - 10 p.m. 'Those are Hindu chants,' Omi said. 'Angry-Hindu chants,' Ish said. Calls to Shiva and Rama combined with drumbeats. We climbed the stairs two floors to reach the bank's roof. The city glowed orange in the thick winter night. One, two, three -I saw three balls of flame across the pols. The nearest flame came from a building fifty yards away. A crowd of people stood outside. They threw stones on the burning building. I couldn't see well, but could hear the screams of the people inside the pol. The screams mixed with celebratory chants. You may have heard about riots several times or even seen them on TV. But to witness them in front of your eyes stuns your senses. My neighbourhood resembled a calamity movie film set. A burning man ran across the road. The Hindu mob chased him. He stumbled on a stone and fell, around twenty yards away from us. The mob crowded over him. Two minutes later, the crowd moved away while the man lay still. I had witnessed someone's death for the first time in my life. My hands, face, neck, legs - everything turned cold. My heart beat in the same irregular way as it did on the day of the earthquake. Nature caused that disaster, man made this one. I don't know which is more dangerous.
'Come inside,' Ish tugged hard at my sleeve.
We went downstairs. My body shivered.
'It's fine. Let's go to sleep. The police will come soon. By morning it will be ok,' Ish said as he put his arm around me.
'Can we sleep together?' I said. Yes, I admit it, I felt super scared.
Ish nodded. He picked up Ali from the couch. We went to the branch manager's room on the first floor and shut the door. I checked my phone before going to bed. Vidya had given me a missed call. I was in no state of mind to call or SMS back. Ish lay next to me anyway. I kept the phone in my pocket.
I took three quilts and slept in the middle next to Ali. Omi and Ish surrounded us. We switched off the lights at 10.30 p.m.
At 11.30 p.m. I woke up again. We heard a shattering noise. Someone shook the main gate of the bank.
'Who is it,' I said. Ish stood up and wore his shirt.
'Let's find out,' Ish said and shook Omi's leg, 'come Omi.'
We went downstairs. I switched on the main lobby lights. Ish looked through the keyhole.
'It's the mob,' Ish said, one eye still on the keyhole, 'Mama is leading the pack.'
We looked at each other. Ish turned the door knob and opened the door.
Nineteen
‘My sons,’ Mama screamed.
We unlocked the bank's main gate and opened it slightly. Mama opened his arms. He held a fire-torch in one hand and a trishul in the other. I expected him to cry when he saw Omi, but he didn't. He came close to us for a hug. He took the three of us in his arms. 'My son, the bastards killed my son,' Mama said as he wouldn't let go of us.
I looked into his cold eyes. He didn't look like a father who had just lost his son. Alcohol and marijuana smells reeked from his mouth. Mama appeared more stoned than grieved.
‘My brother, Mama,' Omi said and held back his tears.
'Don't cry. Nobody will cry today,' Mama screamed and released us. He turned to address the mob, 'we Hindus have only cried. While these mother fuckers come and keep killing us over the centuries. In a Hindu country, in a Hindu state, the fuckers can come and burn our kids in broad daylight. And we don't do anything. We just cry. Come rape us, loot us and burn us. They think they can terrorise the whole fucking world but we will have no guts to do anything.' 'Kill them,' the mob replied. The shaky body movements of the mob showed their intoxication. By blood or alcohol, I could not tell.
'But the bastards made a big mistake. They tried to rape Gujarat today. Mother fuckers thought these vegetarian people, what will they do? Come let's show them what we can do?'
Mama paused to take a sip from his hip flask. We stepped back towards the bank.
'I hope they won't expect us to join. I won't,' I whispered in Ish's ear.
'Nor am I, and let's take Omi inside too,' Ish said. We told Omi to hide behind us. In a delicate movement, Ish shut the bank gate again and locked it.
'What are you whispering?' Mama said and almost lost his balance. His fire torch fell on the floor. The mob cleared around it. He lifted the torch back.
'Where is my other son? Open this gate,' Mama said as he couldn't see Omi.
'What do you want Mama? Can we talk tomorrow?' I said.
'No tomorrow, I want something today.'
'Mama, you know Omi needs to get home...,' I said. Mama brushed me away.
I don't want Omi. I don't want any of you. I have many people to help me kill the bastards.'
Ish came next to me. He held my hand tight.
'So leave us Mama,' Ish said.
'I want the boy. I want that Muslim boy,' Mama said. 'What?' Ish said.
'Eye for an eye. I'll slaughter him right here. Then I will cry for my son. Get the fucking boy,' Mama said and thumped Ish's chest. Ish struggled to stand straight.
The blow torches lit up the dried grass on the entrance of the bank. A thick lock kept the gate shut and the mob outside.
'Mama, you are drunk. There is nobody here,' Omi said.
'You lose a son first. Then I will tell you about being drunk,' Mama said, 'and I know he is here because he is not at his home.'
'Mama, your dispute is with his father,' I said.
'I've taken care of his father,' Mama said, 'and his whore stepmother. I killed them with this.' Mama lifted his trishul to show us. The tips had blood on them.
I looked at Ish and Omi. We made an instant decision. We ran inside the bank. I shut the main entrance door and bolted it.
I sucked in long, deep breaths.
'Relax, relax ... we have to think,' Ish said.
'I will join them and take them away,' Omi said.
'No, it won't work,' Ish said.
'They killed his parents?' I said and continued to breathe
fast.
The mob banged against the gate. They didn't like our vanishing manoeuvre. I wondered how long the lock would hold.
I sat down on the couch. I had to think despite the deafening gate noise.
'What are our options,' I said.
'We can try to negotiate with them,' I said.
Nobody responded.
'They have madness in their eyes, they won't talk,' Omi said.
'We could try and escape. Or fight them,' Ish said.
'You want to fight forty people who are under a spell to murder?' I said.
'Then what?' Ish said.
I looked at Ish. For the first time in my life, I had seen him scared. I kept looking at him hoping he would consider all options. Even the worst one.
'Don't even think about giving up Ali,' Ish said to me as his pointed finger poked my chest.
'What else can we offer them?' I said.
'Money?' Ish said as his body shivered, 'you say people always talk if there is money involved.'
'We don't have that much money,' I said.
'But we will make it and give it to them,' Ish said.
'For Mama it is not about the money,' Omi said.
'That is true,' Ish said, 'but if we buy the rest of them, Mama won't be able to do it alone. We need to scatter the crowd.'
I paced around the room. We didn't have money. Yes, the rioters would be poor people in the neighbourhood with nothing to lose. But still, how and who would do the talking?
'You are the best at money talk,' Ish said.
'It could backfire. How do I separate Mama from them?' I said.
'I'll do that,' Omi said.
We opened the main door again. The crowd stopped banging their trishuls at the front gate lock.
'C'mon son, open the gate. You boys can leave, we will do the rest,' Mama said.
'Mama, I want to talk to you. Just you,' Omi said in a sympathetic voice.
'Sure, open the gate son,' Mama said.
I went forward and opened the gate. I raised my hand to calm the crowd. I had to appear confident.
'Move back. Mama wants to talk to his other son,' I said.
Omi took Mama to the side and hugged him. Mama consoled him. I looked through the crowd to see any influential person. A man with a turban had six men behind him. He wore a gold chain.
'Can I talk to you?' I said.
The man came to me. He held a fire torch in his hand. My cheek felt the heat.
'Sir, I want to offer you a proposal.' 'What?'
'How many of these men are yours?' 'Ten,' he said, after some hesitation. 'If I promise you ten thousand, can you slowly step back and walk away?' I said. 'Why?' he said.
'Please, don't ask. Consider it an offering. And keep it quiet as I don't have enough for all.'
'Why do you want to save the boy?' he asked.
'Fifteen thousand last. My shop is at the temple. You can ruin it if I don't pay.'
The man in the gold chain went back to his group. He spoke to them as they stepped backwards. He turned to me and nodded. Twenty-five per cent of my problem was over.
Mama left Omi and came to me.
'What's going on here?' Mama said. He did not notice forty people turning to thirty in his drunk state.
'Mama think again. You have a future in the party. Parekh-ji will not approve of this,' I said.
Mama laughed. He took out his mobile phone and dialled a number.
'Parekh-ji won't approve?' Mama said and waited for the phone to be picked up.
'Yes, Parekh-ji, I am well. Don't worry, I will grieve later. Right now it is war time. Oh and someone thinks you are not happy with me ... here talk ... yes talk...'
Mama passed his phone. The crowd waited behind us.
'Hello? Who is this,' Parekh-ji's voice came at the other end.
'Govind, Parekh-ji. One of Omi's friends. We came to Vishala with you...,' I said.
'Oh yes. Son, trying day for us Hindus. So are you supporting us?'
"This is wrong, sir,' I said, not sure why I called him sir, 'this is wrong.'
'What? The train burning, isn't it?' 'Not that Parekh-ji, they want to kill a boy' 'So what can I do?' he said. 'Stop them.'
'Our job is to listen to people and do what they tell us. Not the other way round.'
'People don't want this,' I said.
'They do. Trust me. Today, the cooker needs a whistle to release the pressure."
'But kids? Women?' I said.
'Doesn't matter. Whatever it takes to quench the hurt feelings. People in pain want to feel better. Unfortunately, today I can't think of a better way.'
'This is a horrible way,' I said.
'This will last a day or two, but if we stifle it, it could explode into a huge civil war.'
'Your party will be blamed for it,' I said, trying to appeal to their self-interest.
'By who? A few pseudos? Not the people of Gujarat. We are making people feel better. They will elect us again and again. You wait and see.'
'Sir, this boy. He could be in the national team someday.' Mama snatched the phone from me.
'Don't worry Parekh-ji, I'll take care of all this. You will be proud of me tomorrow,' Mama said and hung up.
I looked around for another mini-leader in the pack. I walked up to him and took him aside.
'Fifteen thousand, you take your people and walk away,' I said.
This time my lure did not entice.
'Mama, he is trying to buy me,' the mini-leader screamed at the top of his voice.
'No, no you heard me wrong, what are you mad or something?' I said and moved back towards the bank.
'What's going on Omi? Get the boy here,' Mama screamed.
Omi nodded to Mama. He went to the main door. The crowd remained at the gate and only the porch separated us. However, the gate did not have a lock anymore.
Omi knocked on the main entrance. Ish opened it after confirming the person. Both of them disappeared inside.
I stood alone with the rioters. They suspected me of offering bribes. I wanted to run inside too. However, someone had to keep the crowd out.
'Are they getting him?' Mama asked me.
'I think so,' I said.
I offered to check inside as Mama asked twice. I went to the door and knocked. Ish opened it for a nanosecond and I slipped inside.
I let out the loudest sigh ever. Ish bolted the door and blocked it with the sofa from the waiting lounge.
'They are waiting. If one of us doesn't show up in two minutes, they will attack,' I said.
'Ali woke up,' Omi said. 'Where is he?' I said.
'I locked him in the manager's room. How many people?' Ish said.
'Thirty,' I said. 'Let's fight,' Ish said.
Twenty
Ish, I want to talk to you,' I said. 'We don't have time,' Ish said. 'Omi!' Mama's scream came through the main door. 'Coming Mama. Give us five minutes,' Omi screamed back. 'Get him fast,' Mama said.
I made Ish sit on the sofa that blocked the main door.
'Ish, can I offer a bit of logic in the current chaos,' I said.
'What? We have no time,' Ish said.
'I know. But I also know what will happen if we fight thirty people. We will all die. They will get Ali and kill him too,' I said.
'So what are you trying to say,' Ish said and stood up.
'Giving up three lives to possibly save one. Can you show me the maths in this?'
'Fuck your maths. This isn't about business.'
'Then what is it about? Why should we all die? Only because you love the kid?'
'No,' he said and turned his back to me.
'Then what?'
'Because he is a national treasure,' Ish said.
'Oh, and we are national filth? So maybe one day the kid will hit a few sixes and Indians will waste the day watching TV and get thrills out of it. So fucking what? What about my mother? What about Omi's parents? What about...,' I said and turned quiet. I almost said Vidya.
'I'm not giving him up. You want to run away. Open the door and run. Omi, you are welcome to go too,' Ish said.
'I am not going. But how do we fight them Ish?' Omi said.
Ish told us to follow him. He led us to the kitchen. He told us to lift a kerosene canister each. He also picked up three buckets that we used to chill beer. We fell in step behind him as we took the steps to the roof.
'It's heavy,' I said.
'Twenty litres each. That's heavy for sure,' Ish said as we reached the roof.
Fires dotted the neighbourhood skyline. The weather didn't feel as cold as a February night should be.
'We are coming!' Mama said as his group pushed the rusted metal gate of the bank open. They came to the porch and banged on the main entrance door.
'Stop shouting Mama,' Ish said.
Mama looked up to the roof.
'Where are you hiding sister-fuckers,' Mama said. The crowd hurled fire torches at us. We stood two stories high. Nothing reached us. One fire torch fell on a rioter and he yelped in pain. A mob maybe passionate, but it can also be quite stupid. They stopped throwing torches after that.
Ish kept Mama engaged.
'Mama, I was born without fear. See,' Ish said and climbed on the roof ledge.
The crowd became distracted. If they weren't, they'd attack the main door. Despite three bolts and a sofa in front, they would break it in ten minutes flat. After that, they'd have to break the first floor entrance door and then the flimsy one at the roof. In fifteen minutes, we would be roasted in blowtorches. Ish's plan better be good.
'Say Jai Sri Ram,' Ish shouted. It worked perfectly, the crowd had to participate. Most of the crowd did not know whether we supported them or not. At least not yet.
Meanwhile, Omi and I poured the kerosene out of the canisters into the buckets. The canisters had a narrow neck and the kerosene wouldn't flow out fast. We needed a big strike.
Ish struck Siva's poses on the ledge. A few drunk members of the mob even bowed to him. Perhaps Siva had come down tonight to bless the rioters.
'One, two, three and go,' I whispered as Omi and I upturned the buckets. We threw the oil forward to keep it away from the bank building.
The blowtorches in the rioters' hands acted as the ignition. A river of fire fell on the bank's porch. Panic spread in the mob. They took a few moments to realise we had attacked them. Ish stepped off the ledge. We hid ourselves under the parapet. I raised my head high enough to watch the happenings below. A few mobsters ran out of the bank gate as their clothes caught fire. I suppose it is much more fun to burn people, than get burnt yourself.
'How many ran away?' Ish said.
'Quite a few. There's panic downstairs.' The remaining people started jabbing trishuls on the main door. I popped my body up to count the people. I estimated more than ten, but less than twenty.
'We have to go down,' Ish said.
'Are you mad?' I said.
'No. Let's reduce the people further,' Ish said.
'Ish, we are hurting people. Some of them may die. We threw a lot of kerosene,' I said.
'I don't care,' Ish said, 'we have to hurt some more.'
We came down to the first floor. Ish unlocked the branch manager's office door with the bunch of keys in his pocket. Ali awaited him inside and ran to hug him.
'I am scared,' Ali said and broke into tears.
'Don't worry, it's going to be fine,' Ish said.
'I want to go home to abba.'
I ran my fingers through Ali's hair. Home was no longer an option.
'Ali, you will be fine if you listen to me. Will you listen to me?' Ish said. Ali nodded.
'Some horrible people want to get you. I need to lock you up in the vault. They will never get you there,' Ish said. He pointed to the claustrophobic six by six room.
'There? It's so dark?' Ali said.
'Here, take my phone. Keep the light on. I will be back soon,' Ish said and gave him his cell-phone.
Ish put Ali in the safe. He gave him a few pillows. Ali switched on the phone light. Ish shut the door and locked it. He kept the keys inside his sock.
'You ok?' Ish screamed.
'It's dark,' Ali said.
'Hold on ok?' Ish said.
'Ok, we have to cook one more dish in the kitchen. Come fast,' Ish said.
We left Ali in the vault and ran to the kitchen. The jabs at the main door continued. I estimated we had five more minutes before the door gave away.
Ish unplugged the LPG cylinder. 'Carry this to the main door,' Ish said.
Omi and I carried the LPG cylinder. We kept it under the sofa blocking the main door.
'Omi where do we keep the fireworks?" Ish said.
'Top shelf,' Omi said.
Ish came back with boxes of leftover Diwali crackers. We usually burst them when India won a match. Ish emptied a box of bombs on the cylinder.
He took two bombs and opened the fuse to make it last longer. The crowd banged at the door. One main door bolt became loose.
'I open, you light and all run up. Clear?' Ish said to Omi.
Omi nodded. Ish climbed on the sofa and tried to get hold of the bolt. It vibrated under the impact of the mob's jabs.
Omi lit a matchstick and took it to the fuse. As the fuse tip turned orange, Ish opened the bolt. The sofa would keep the door in place for a few more seconds, the time we had to save our lives.
'Run,' Ish said as he jumped off the sofa.
We ran up the stairs. I was four steps away from the top when the door came loose.
'Mother fuckers we won't leave you. Killing your own people,' the mini-leader I had tried to bribe opened the door. Him and three more men entered the room.
'Hey stop,' they shouted at me as I continued to climb. I looked behind, eight men had entered the bank.
I was one step from the top when my ears hurt. The explosion rocked the cupboards on the ground floor as the main door blew away. I think the mini-leader took the worst hit from the cylinder. The other eight men couldn't have been much better off.
I didn't know what we were doing. Preventing someone from taking revenge by attacking them ourselves. I had never seen body parts fly in the air. I didn't know if any of the rioters remained. I used the two way switch at the top to switch on the ground floor tube light. Smoke and bits of paper from the old files filled the room. Ish and Omi came behind me.
'All gone?' Ish said.
The smoke cleared in thirty seconds. A few men lay around the room. I could not tell if they were injured or dead. The erstwhile main door was now an empty gap. Mama entered the room with five other people. Maybe he was lucky, or maybe he had the foresight to send others to open the door first. The five people ran to the injured in the room. Mama looked up. His eyes met us.
Twenty One
Traitors, you bastards,' Mama screamed. I noticed his left hand. It bled and the kerosene had burnt part of his kurta's left sleeve.
'Catch them,' Mama shouted. He and five other men ran up the stairs. Ish, Omi and I ran into the branch manager's office and shut the door.
'Hold these,' Ish said. His hands trembled as he shuffled through the cricket equipment we kept in the manager's office. Ish picked up a bat. Mama and his group had reached the branch manager's office door.
'Open or we will break it,' Mama said, even though they didn't bang the door. They continued to threaten us but didn't act. Perhaps they were afraid of what we would blow up this time.
My heartbeat sounded almost as loud as their screams.
'I don't have my phone. Give me yours, I'll call the police,' Ish said to me.
'We will not leave,' Mama's voice reverberated through the door.
I passed my phone to Ish. He dialled the police number.
'Fuck, no one is picking up,' Ish said and tried again. Nobody answered.
Ish hung up the phone and shook it in frustration. Beep Beep, my phone said as a message arrived. 'It's an SMS,' Ish said as he opened it.
Hey, stay safe tonight.
By the way, just got my period!!
Yippee!! Relieved no?
C U soon my hot teacher.
Love - me.
The message came from supplier Vidyanath. Ish gave me a puzzled look. I shrugged my shoulders and reached to take my phone. Ish moved the phone away from me. He looked at me in shock. He turned to the message and went into details. He saw the number. He dialled it.
I came close to a cardiac arrest.
'Hey, cool no? I never thought I'd be celebrating a period,' Vidya rattled off on the other side as she saw my number. I could hear her cheerful voice even though Ish held the phone. 'Vidya?' Ish said as his brows became tense. 'Ish bhaiya?' she said.
Ish looked at me. He cut the line and kept the phone in his pocket.
For a moment we forgot that we had murderers at our door. Ish stepped forward towards me as I backtracked until I reached the wall.
'Ish I can explain...,' I said even though I couldn't. Ish dropped the bat on the ground. He lifted his hand and then - slap! slap! He deposited two of them on my face. Then he made his hand into a fist and punched me hard in the stomach.
I fell on the ground. I felt intense pain, but I felt I had lost the right to say anything, including screaming in agony. I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes. I deserved this. I had to pay for the second mistake of my life.
'What the hell are you doing?' Omi said even though he understood the situation well.
'Nothing, selfish bastard. He is a snake. He'll sell us if he could, Fucking businessman,' Ish said and kicked me in the shins.
'Hey Ish, you want to get killed?' Omi said.
'Fuck you Mama, come in if you have the guts,' Ish shouted and walked up to the door.
Omi lent me a hand. I stood up and leaned on him. I wondered if my intestines had burst.
'I told you. Protocol,' Omi said.
'I didn't do anything wrong,' I said. I don't know why I said that. I had unprotected sex with a barely legal student and my best friend's sister. It must be up there in the top ten morally wrong things one could possibly do.
Mama's patience ran out after five minutes. He ordered his minions to break the door. They pressed their trishuls against the door, but kept their distance.
'Right now, aim is to survive, not to settle scores,' Omi said.
Omi handed Ish the bat again. I held my wicket tight. We monitored the door. A few more jabs and it would open.
'I'll let them in anyway,' Omi said and released the bolt.
'You want to kill me? Mama, go on, kill me. Why wait,' Omi said and opened the door.
'Move aside Omi. Just tell me, where is the boy,' Mama said.
'You won't get any boy here,' Ish growled.
Mama's five men held up their trishuls. We lifted our cricket weapons. One man attacked Ish. Ish blocked him with his bat. Ish struck the bat on the man's arm, leg, thigh and groin. The man fell on the floor.
My hands shivered as I tackled another fat man. My wicket got stuck in his trishul's blades. Our conjoined weapons hurled in the air as we tried to extract them apart. He kicked me in my right knee and I lost my balance. He came forward and pinned me to the wall.
The third man hit Ish on the neck with the blunt end of the trishul. Ish fell forward. The man took Ish captive and pushed him against the wall.
Omi had crushed the toes of the fourth man with the bat. The man winced as he fell on the floor. Omi kicked his stomach but the fifth man punched hard on Omi's back. The man grabbed Omi from behind.
'Buffalo, you can't get free now,' the man said.
'Tch, tch. Stupid bastards. Like playing with fire eh?' Mama said as he sat on the branch manager's table. The three of us were pinned to the wall. The three remaining able men had blocked our bodies with their trishuls.
Mama sat on the branch manager's table and looked at us.
'I want blood. Give me the boy, or it will be yours,' Mama said. He took out his hip flask and had a big sip of whisky.
'There is no boy here,' Ish said, 'as you can see.'
'You are not to be trusted, as I have seen,' Mama said. He threw the empty flask at Ish. It hit him in the chest.
Two injured men lay on the floor. Mama kicked them.
'Go search,' Mama said.
The men hobbled and left the room.
'Nobody here,' they screamed as they traversed the various rooms of the bank. Their voice had pain. Something told me they'd had enough.
Mama went close to Ish. He pulled Ish's hair hard. 'Tell me you bastard,' Mama said. 'He is not here,' Ish said.
'I will...,' Mama said as a phone ring interrupted him.
The phone didn't belong to me or Omi. The ring didn't come from Mama and his men either.
Mama followed the sound. The sound came from the manager's table. Mama went to the wall behind the manager's table. It had the vault. The sound came from within the vault.
'Open this,' Mama said as he pointed to the wheel shaped lock of the vault.
We kept quiet. Ish's phone rang again. I guessed Vidya had called to explain things to her brother.
'I said open this,' Mama said.
'This is the bank's vault. We don't have the keys,' I said. I wanted to do my part to help Ish. I wanted to do anything to make me less of a creep.
'Oh yes. The smart boy has spoken. No keys,' Mama said.
My head turned to Ish. Ish looked away from me.
Mama grabbed my chin and turned my face to him.
'So we are idiots isn't it? You don't have the keys, but how did the fucking phone end up inside? Search them.'
Mama's minions began the most violent search possible. The man searching me ripped open my shirt pocket. He slapped me once and asked me to turn around. His nails poked me as he frisked me from top to bottom. I told him I didn't have the keys more than ten times, but he wouldn't listen. He searched my pant pockets and grabbed my groin twice to check. Whenever I tried to squirm, he jabbed me with his fist.
The other men did the same to Omi and Ish. The man searching him ripped off Ish's shirt. He took a trishul and poked him in his rib cage.
'This bastard doesn't have it,' my man said and gave up his grip. He pinned me to the wall again.
'This one neither,' the man with Omi said.
'This one needs to be tamed,' the man with Ish said as he tried to take off Ish's pants. Ish kicked hard in the man's shins. I noticed the blood on Ish's chest.
'Should I help,' Mama said from the branch manager's desk.
'Don't worry I'll tackle him,' the man said even as Ish bit his arm.
Mama came to Ish. He jabbed the blunt end of the trishul again at his chest wound.
Ish screamed in pain and fell. The man searching Ish slapped him a few times. Ish clenched his teeth and continued to kick. Mama reached into Ish's pockets. He felt something. Ish had worn practice shorts underneath his pants. Mama took his hands out of the pants and slid it again into Ish's shorts. He pulled out a bangle sized keyring. It had two six inch long keys.
Ish lay on the floor taking heavy breaths from his mouth. His eyes looked defiant even as his body refused to cooperate.
Mama twirled the key ring in his hand.
'Never looted a bank before,' Mama said, 'and what a prize today. Father and son, I'll root out the clan.'
Mama took a minute to figure out the vault keys.
'Don't Mama, he is a child. For my sake,' Omi said.
Mama paused and turned to look at us.
'My Dhiraj was also a child,' Mama said and went to the vault.
Ish sat on the floor. The man guarding him suffocated Ish with the trishul rod around his neck.
'Don't touch him. He is national treasure,' Ish growled. The man suffocated him further.
'I'll pay you, whatever you want,' I said.
'Businessman, go sell your mother,' Mama said to me as he turned the wheel of the vault.
'There is the bastard,' Mama said.
Mama yanked out Ali from the vault. His thin body in the white kurta pajama shivered intensely. His smudged face told me he had been crying inside. Mama grabbed Ali by the neck and raised him high in the air.
'Ish bhaiya,' Ali said as his legs dangled.
'The more innocent you look now, the bigger devil you will be in ten years,' Mama said and brought Ali down. He released his grip on Ali's neck.
'Stop it Mama,' Omi said as Mama lifted his trishul.
'You won't understand,' Mama said and folded his hands to pray.
'Run Ali, run,' Ish screamed.
Ali tried to run out of the room. Mama opened his eyes. He ran after Ali and jabbed the trishul into Ali's ankle.
Ali screamed in pain and fell down.
Mama kneeled down on the floor next to Ali.
'Don't you try and escape son of a bitch. I can kill you in one clean shot. If you try to be clever I will cut each finger of yours one at a time. Understand?' Mama roared. His eyes were red, the white barely visible.
Mama closed his eyes again and mumbled silent chants. He took his folded hands to his forehead and heart and tapped it thrice. He opened his eyes and lifted the trishul. Ali stood up and tried to limp away.
Mama lifted the trishul high to strike.
'Mama no,' Omi screamed in his loudest voice. Omi pushed the man blocking him. He ran between Mama and Ali. Mama screamed a chant and struck.
'Stop Mama,' Omi said.
Even if Mama wanted to stop, he couldn't. The strike already had momentum. The trishul entered Omi's stomach with a dull thud.
'Oh ... oh,' Omi said as he absorbed what happened first and felt the pain later. Within seconds, a pool of blood covered the floor. Mama and his men looked at each other, trying to make sense of what had occurred.
'Mama, don't do it,' Omi said, still unaware that the trishul blades had penetrated five inches inside him.
'Omi, my son,' Mama said.
Omi writhed in pain as Mama yanked the trishul out.
I had never seen so much blood. I wanted to puke. My mind went numb. The man who pinned Omi earlier now held Ali tight and came close to Mama. Mama had Omi in his lap.
'Look you animal, what did you do,' Ish screamed. Ish had seen the scene from behind. He never saw the trishul inside him. Only I had seen, and for years later that image would continue to haunt me.
'Call an ambulance you dogs,' Ish screamed. Ish's captor held him super-tight.
Ali put his free hand on Omi's chest. It moved up and down in an asymmetrical manner.
Omi held Ali's hand and looked at me. His eyes looked weak. Tears ran across my cheeks. I had no energy to fight the man holding me. I had no energy left to do anything.
'Leave us you bastards,' I cried like a baby.
'You'll be fine my son, I didn't mean to,' Mama said as he brushed Omi's hair.
'He is a good boy Mama, he didn't kill your son. All Muslims are not bad,' Omi said, his voice breaking as he gulped for breath.
'Love you friend,' Omi said as he looked at me, a line that could be termed cheesy if it wasn't his last. His eyes closed.
'Omi, my son, my son,' Mama tried to shake him back to life.
'What? What happened?' Ish said. He had only witnessed the drama from behind.
Mama put his head on Omi's chest. Ish started kicking and shoving the man holding him. The man jabbed Ish with his elbow. Ish gripped his trishul rod and pushed back hard until he could slip out. He gave the man a kick in his groin. The man fell down as Ish kicked him again thrice in the same place. Ish pounded his head with his foot until the man became unconscious. Ish ran to Omi.
Mama left Omi's body on the ground and stood up. Ish went over and touched Omi's face. He had never touched a dead body before, let alone his friend's. I saw Ish cry for the first time. He sniffed back hard but the tears wouldn't stop.
'See what you made me do you bastard,' Mama said, 'made me kill another son. But I am not weak. I haven't cried yet, look.'
Ish ignored Mama. He went through the same numbness I did a few moments ago. He touched Omi's body again and again.
'Hindus are not weak, am I weak?' Mama said as he turned to his men. The men looked nervous, as things had not gone as planned. The man who held Ali's arm looked at Mama, looking for guidance for the next step.
'Hold him back, next to this mother pimping businessman,' Mama said.
The man brought Ali next to me and held him back with a trishul.
Ish's captor had recovered from the groin attack. He woke up and ran to Ish from behind. He struck the blunt end of the trishul on Ish's head.
'Ah!' Ish said in pain as he fell down, semi-conscious. The man dragged Ish back to the wall. Ish faced Ali and me.
'No more chances,' Mama said as he came in front of Ali. Mama asked Ali's captor to release him. I looked at Ish, around fifteen feet away. His captor looked extra-alert. Ish looked at me. His eyes tried to tell me something.
What? I asked myself, What is he trying to say?
I squinted my eyes to look at Ish. He moved his eyeballs from centre to left in quick succession. He wanted me to run out and block Mama. Just the way Omi had, unsuccessfully.
I examined my captor. He blocked me but his eyes watched Mama and Ali. It is hard to take your eyes of a live murder. I could slip out. However, what was the point of getting killed?
'Get ready you pig,' Mama said as he lifted his trishul and took five steps back.
Maybe I could extract myself and try to pull Ali towards me. That way Mama's strike could hit the wall. Ish could push his captor away, come from behind and protect us all. Is that what Ish had tried to say? I had limited data beyond the eye
movement. I had limited time. I couldn't analyse, I had to do first and think later. The exact opposite of when I slept with Vidya. There, I should have thought first and done later.
Mama ran towards Ali. I knew I had to get out of the captor's grip, grab Ali and pull him to my side. I got ready to move. However, I looked at Mama. The sight of his huge frame and a sharp weapon sent a fear inside me. And I wasted precious time thinking when I should have acted. Ish and I exchanged another glance and he saw my fear mixed with self-interest. What if the trishul ends in my stomach? The what-ifs made me hesitant, but I snapped myself out of it and made a dive to my left. I grabbed Ali and pulled him towards me. Mama struck, but missed Ali's torso. One blade of the trishul jabbed Ali's wrist. Ali would have been completely unhurt only if I had dived a second earlier. And here it was, something I didn't realise then, the one second delay being the third big mistake of my life.
Of course, I didn't know I had made a mistake then.
Ish did exactly as I thought, and banged his head against the captor's to set himself free. It would have hurt Ish, but I think Ish was beyond pain right now. Ish took his captor's trishul and struck it into the man's heart. The man screamed once and turned silent.
Ish ran to us.
'He's ok, he is ok,' I said turning to Ish. I held Ali tight within me in an embryo position.
?
There were two captors left and Mama. We did not want to kill anyone.
'We just want to go away,' Ish said as he held his trishul, facing Mama. Mama had a trishul too. Their eyes met. Mama's men watched the impending duel. I ran with Ali to the other end of the room. The men came running after us.
'Stop you bastards,' the men said as we reached the end of the room. One of the men went and bolted the door.
Ali lifted a bat from the floor. I picked one too, though not sure if I could really fight right now,
Ali winced as his right wrist hurt when he lifted the bat.
'Heh? Want to fight?' the two captors said.
Mama and Ish were still in their face off. Each had a stern gaze. Mama rotated his trishul in his hand.
One of the men turned to go back to Mama.
'I'll take care of him, you finish the boy Mama,' he said.
'Sure,' Mama said as he moved away. As he left, Mama struck his trishul at Ish's toes. Ish didn't expect it. He lost his balance and fell down next to the manager's desk.
'You are fucking weak, you know that,' Ish said.
'I can finish you now. Thank your stars you were born in a Hindu house,' Mama said as he spat on Ish's face. Mama came to Ali.
'Oh, you want to play eh? You want to play bat ball with me,' Mama said and laughed as Ali held up his bat.
'Move away,' Mama said to his men, 'the boy wants to play. Yeah, you son of a whore, play with me,' Mama said as he danced around Ali, just out of the striking distance of Ali's bat.
Ali pranced around as he stumbled on two cricket balls kept on the floor. Mama picked one up.
'You want me to bowl? Eh? Play bat ball?' Mama said and laughed, 'one last ball before you die?'
Mama tossed the ball in his hands.
'Yeah, bowl to me,' Ali said.
'Oh really?' Mama said and laughed.
Another ball lay next to Ali's foot. Ali brushed the ball with his feet towards Ish. The ball rolled to Ish. Ish sat on the floor leaning against the manager's table. His toes whooshed out blood and he couldn't get up.
'Don't come near me,' Ali said to Mama.
'Oh, I am so scared of the bat ball,' Mama said and pretended to shiver in jest. He tossed the ball in one hand and held the trishul in the other.
Ish picked up the ball slowly. Ali's eyes met with Ish. Ali gave the briefest nod possible.
Ish lifted the ball in his hand. The captor noticed but didn't react. Ish threw the ball towards Ali with all his strength.
Slam! Ali struck the ball with the bat. He had one shot, and he didn't miss it. The ball hit Mama's temple hard. Mama released the ball in his hand to hold his head. The ball fell on the floor and Ali kicked it to Ish. Ish threw it again, Ali connected and slam! The ball hit the centre of Mama's forehead.
Ali's shots were powerful enough to get balls out of stadiums. At five feet range, they hit Mama like exploding bricks. Mama fell down. His trishul fell on the floor. Ish used it as a stick to get up. The captors ran towards Mama. Ish came from behind and stabbed one in his neck. The other captor saw the blood gush out, the killer look in Ish's eyes. He opened the bolt and was out of sight in ten seconds.
Ali kneeled down on the floor. He held his right wrist with his left hand.
'Oh my God,' Ali said, more in pain than surprise at what he had done.
Mama lay on the ground. His temple had burst. Internal bleeding had made his forehead dark and swollen. He barely moved. Nobody wanted to go close to check his breath. His eyes shut after five minutes and I checked his pulse.
'It's stopped. I think he's dead,' I said. I had become an expert in dead bodies.
Ish's arms wrapped around Ali.
'It's hurting a lot Ish bhaiya. Take me home,' Ali said. His body still trembled in fear.
'C'mon move that wrist. Ali, you need that wrist, keep it alive,' Ish said. He hobbled towards the door to leave. He used a trishul as his walking stick.
'We saved him, Ish we saved him,' I said as I shook Ish's shoulders from behind.
Ish stopped. He turned to me. He didn't give me a dirty look, but something worse than that. He gave me the look of indifference. Sure, I had let him down for lots of reasons. But why was he behaving like Who was I? Like he had nothing whatsoever to do with me. Ish turned and started to walk.
'Hey Ish, wait for me. I'll help you open the door' I said. I reached the door.
Ish hand gestured me to get out of the way.
'Ish, c'mon Ish, he is alive. We, we did it,' I said.
Ish didn't say anything. He left me like I was one of the dead bodies and walked out.
Epilogue
The heart rate monitor beeped fast. Govind's pulse had crossed 130 beats a minute. The nurse came running inside. 'What did you do?' she said.
'I am fine. Just chatting,' Govind said. He sat up a little on the bed.
'Don't make him exert himself.' The nurse wagged her finger at me. I nodded and she left the room.
'And from that day, exactly three years, two months and one week ago, Ish has not spoken to me again. Everytime I try speaking to him he snubs me.' Govind ended his story.
I gave him a glass of water as his voice faltered.
'So what happened in the three years - to the shop, to Vidya, to Ali?' I asked.
He turned his gaze down and played with the heart rate monitor wire attached on his chest. He swallowed a couple of times to keep his composure.
I did not prod further. If he wanted to tell me, he would. I checked the time, it was five in the morning. I stepped outside the room. The early morning sunlight filled the hospital corridors. I asked someone where to get tea from. He pointed me to the canteen.
I came back with two cups. Govind refused as he wasn't allowed one after a stomach wash. He didn't make eye contact.
'I need to find the Singapore Airlines phone number. I have to confirm my return trip,' I said, to change his mood.
'Omi's parents,' Govind said, his gaze and voice both low. 'I can't tell you how ... destroyed they were. For weeks, the temple had visitors from the neighbourhood and the only prayers were for Omi, Dhiraj and Mama. At the funerals, Omi's father cried as five thousand people descended from all over Ahmedabad. Omi's mother became ill after not eating for a week. She had to be in the hospital for a month!
I debated whether to place my hand on Govind's hand lying pale on the covers.
'I didn't go to the shop for two months. I tried to contact Ish, but ... If I went to meet him, he'd shut the door on my face.'
'Did you speak to Vidya?'
Govind shook his head. 'Speaking to Vidya was out of question. They put her under house arrest. Her dad slammed her mobile phone to pieces. The TV channels moved on after the Godhra news and the riots. But my life collapsed. I lived through all that. I didn't pop pills then. Don't think I am not strong ... just because I am here today' He paused. 'Three months after the incident, Omi's mother came home. She told me to reopen the shop. Omi had told her it was his favourite place in the world. Mama was gone, so the shop belonged to Omi's mother now. And she wanted to give it to us to keep the memory of her son alive.'
'So did you agree?'
'Initially, I couldn't meet her eye. The guilt ... of letting Omi die, of my part in Mama's death, of celebrating Mama's death. But she knew nothing of my nightmares and I had to make a living anyway. The business was losing money. We had defaulted many supply contracts. So I came back to the shop. Ish told Omi's mother he Would come, too, but didn't want anything to do with me. Omi's mother wanted us both, so there was only one solution.' 'What?'
'We split the shop into two. We put a plywood wall right in the middle. Ish took the right side and continued the sports shop. I took the left and turned my portion into a student stationery and textbook store. His customers often came to my store and vice versa. We offered studies and sports at the same place but we never, not once, spoke. Not even when India reached the finals in the 2003 World Cup. Ish watches matches alone now, and never jumps at a six.'
'Did you ever contact Vidya again? And what happened to Ali?' I realised I was asking more questions than offering support. But I had to know.
'They sent Vidya to Bombay, to do a PR course. That was the one positive thing for her. They wanted her away from me, medical college or not. So Vidya did get to fly out of her cage. She had instructions to never speak to me again. However, she loves breaking rules and did try to contact me a couple of times from there. But this time I never replied. I couldn't do it... I saw her brother everyday. All I wanted to do was make as much money as possible and save it for Ali.'
'To bring him up?' I said and took a sip from my cup. Why does hospital tea taste like Dettol?
'Ali stays in Ish's house now, so he will be brought up well anyway. But we need the money for his wrist operation. A lot of money,' Govind said.
The nurse came to the room for the morning checkup. Govind requested he wanted to use the toilet. The nurse agreed and took off the drips and monitor cords attached to him. I waited anxiously for ten minutes, my mind riven with doubts about his stability, when he returned. 'What kind of operation?' I asked.
'Ali's wrist is damaged. That means his ability to turn the bat at the right time is gone. I saved his life, but my one second of delay cost him his gift. I told you, that delay was the third mistake of my life.'
'You did your best. It was a moment's delay,' I reassured.
'But a conscious moment. I was selfish. Like I was with my ambition when I wanted to make the mall, or when I was with Vidya. They are right, you know. I am not a businessman, I am a selfish bastard,' he said and paused before speaking again.
'He needs reconstructive surgery. The trishul gouged out some of the muscle from the wrist. So doctors have to cut up a piece of muscle from the thigh and attach it to the wrist. Then, they have to hope that it works. It isn't a synthetic skin graft, but a muscle transfer. It only happens abroad. And it costs a bomb.'
'How much?'
'Don't even talk about the full price. Ish wrote to every big hospital in the UK and USA for subsidies. The best deal he has is from a hospital in UK, which has promised us an operation for five lakhs. Of course, Ish never told me all this. That is all I could hear from the thin plywood wall'
'You have the money?'
'Ish saved two lakhs in the past three years. I saved another three. Last week I went to him with the money. I said let's pool our resources and get Ali operated. I said we must act now as it takes nine months to get an appointment at that hospital anyway. And then he...,' Govind's voice choked again.
'You ok?' I said.
Govind nodded. 'You know what he did? He refused to touch my money and wore cricket gloves while handing the envelope back to me. In fact, he offered me his cashbox and said he could give me money if I needed it to satisfy my greed. He said he didn't want to get Ali operated with a dishonest man's money.'
Govind voice began to break. 'I am not dishonest. I'm selfish and have made mistakes, but I'm not dishonest. And I don't only care about money. I care about Ali, too.'
I sat on his bed put my hand on his arm. He pulled it away.
'After three years of saving every rupee I could, Ish calls my labour dishonest. I can't take it anymore. Dr Verma had given me pills as I had trouble sleeping at night. That day I felt why not sleep once and for all. Maybe I had calculated life all wrong. It was time to quit the equation.' He smiled feebly.
The doctor came to Govind's ward at 7 a.m. The chemicals from the pills had been flushed out of Govind's system.
'I'd like the patient to sleep for six hours,' the doctor told me as he drew the curtains.
I left the room and went out. Govind's mother sat on a bench in the corridor. She looked up, worried.
'He is fine, just needs some rest.' I sat next to her on the bench.
'Such a brave boy I had. What happened to him?' she sighed.
'He thought he was being brave,' I said. 'Does Ish know?'
She looked at me sideways. 'They don't talk.'
'Can you tell him what happened. Don't force him to come to the hospital,' I said.
Govind's mother nodded. We left the hospital together. She had sat in an auto when I spoke again. 'By the way, do you know which college Vidya goes to in Bombay?'
'So many visitors? This is a hospital, not a club,' the nurse grumbled as she changed Govind's bedsheets in the evening.
Govind's hospital room was bustling with people. Apart from the nurse, there were Ish, Vidya, Govind's mother and I. We waited for Mr Sleepyhead to wake up from his second nap of the day. A lot of people had lost sleep because of his sleeping pills.
Govind's eyelashes flickered and everyone moved closer to the bed.
'Ish? Vidya!' Govind blinked.
'There are better ways to attract attention,' Vidya said. 'When did you come?' Govind asked, quite forgetting the others.
'I left my marketing class halfway,' Vidya said. 'But that doesn't mean I forgive you for not replying to me. Or for popping these pills. I never popped anything even when I was most scared, you know when.'
'Your parents told you not to speak to me again. Ish wanted the same.'
'So?' Vidya removed her college bag from her shoulder and placed it on the bed. 'What did your heart want?'
Ish stood silent, looking at Govind. Govind's mother looked shocked, probably dreading a firecracker of a daughter-in-law like Vidya someday.
'I am sorry, Ish. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I l... loved her,' Govind said.
Ish began to walk out of the room. Govind's mother went after him and pulled his arm. She placed Ish's hand on Govind's.
'You don't have to listen to parents, but I do think you should be friends again,' Govind's mother said.
Ish remained silent. Govind clasped Ish's hand. Govind's mother continued:
'Life will have many setbacks. People close to you will hurt you.
But you don't break it off. You don't hurt them more. You try to heal it. It is a lesson not only you, but our country needs to learn.'
'Remember the kissing chimpanzees?' Govind called after him.
Ish stopped and looked back at Govind.
'Take the money for Ali. For me, it's no longer just for the money. But what the money is for. Get Ali all right, it is important to me, too.'
Ish sniffed hard as he tried to resist tears.
'Can you forgive me, three times over?' Govind said.
Both Govind's and Ish's eyes turned moist.
'Aunty, isn't it strange that all the men in the ward are crying while the women are like, so, together?' Vidya said.
Govind's mother looked horrified. Confident women make terrible daughters-in-law.
I met Govind the next morning, right before I left for the airport. Govind was due for discharge that evening.
"Thanks,' he said emotionally.
'For what?'
'For dropping by. I don't know how I will ever repay you...' 'Actually, there is a way' Govind waited.
'Your story, it needs to be shared.' 'Like a book?'
'Yes, exactly a book. My third book. Will you help me?'
I don't know. I only like stories with happy endings,' he said.
'You have a pretty happy ending.'
I don't know yet about Ali. We are going for the operation, but the success probability is not hundred per cent. Fifty-fifty is what they told us.'
'You should have faith. Probability is best left to books,' I said.
He nodded.
'So I'll go back and we'll be in touch over email,' I said. 'Sure, we can work on it. But do not release the story until we know about Ali. Ok? It may mean your effort goes to waste,' he said. 'I agree,' I said and we shook hands.
I met Vidya at the hospital entrance as I left. She was wearing a green lehanga, probably her most cheerful dress, to lift Govind's spirits. She carried a bouquet.
'Nice roses,' I said.
'Law Garden has the best ones. I miss Ahmedabad, can't wait for my course to be over in six months,' she said.
'I thought you were a Bombay girl, trapped in the small city or whatever.'
'He told you everything? Like everything?' she, looked shocked. 'Pretty much.'
'Oh well, Bombay is nice, but my own is my own. Pao bhaji tastes much better in Ahmedabad.'
I wanted to chat with her more, but had to leave. They had let me into their world, but I couldn't overstay.
Epilogue II
I sat at my home computer in Singapore. My wife came to my desk at midnight.
'Can you leave this story for now? You have done what you could. He'll tell you if anything happens,' she said.
'Yes, but they are in London right now. The operation is over, Ali's doing physio exercises everyday. He could be ready for a batting test anytime.'
'You have been saying the same thing over and over since last month. Now can you please turn off the light?'
I lay down and thought about them. It was day time in London. Would the doctors agree to let him go to the cricket field for a test today? What would happen if he faces a ball after such a long gap? Will the new wrist be too delicate to play sports? Thoughts continued to swirl as I drifted off to sleep.
The next morning I woke up early. I had an SMS from Govind.
doc approves ali 2 play,
fingers X. pls pray,
v hit pitch 2mrow
I went to office the next day. London is eight hours behind Singapore, and 1 checked my phone during my evening coffee at 4 p.m. I had no message. I left office at 8 p.m. I was in the taxi when my phone beeped.
ish bowls 2 ali.
ali moves fwd & turns.
straight 6...!
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