Katerina Ivanovna and she laid thirty roubles on the table
before her in silence. She did not utter a word, she did not
even look at her, she simply picked up our big green drap
de dames shawl (we have a shawl, made of drap de dames),
put it over her head and face and lay down on the bed
with her face to the wall; only her little shoulders and her
body kept shuddering…. And I went on lying there, just
as before…. And then I saw, young man, I saw Katerina
Ivanovna, in the same silence go up to Sonia’s little bed;
she was on her knees all the evening kissing Sonia’s feet,
and would not get up, and then they both fell asleep in
each other’s arms … together, together … yes … and I …
lay drunk.’
Marmeladov stopped short, as though his voice had
failed him. Then he hurriedly filled his glass, drank, and
cleared his throat.
‘Since then, sir,’ he went on after a brief pause—‘Since
then, owing to an unfortunate occurrence and through
information given by evil- intentioned persons—in all
which Darya Frantsovna took a leading part on the pretext
that she had been treated with want of respect—since then
my daughter Sofya Semyonovna has been forced to take a
yellow ticket, and owing to that she is unable to go on
living with us. For our landlady, Amalia Fyodorovna
Crime and Punishment
37 of 967
would not hear of it (though she had backed up Darya
Frantsovna before) and Mr. Lebeziatnikov too … hm….
All the trouble between him and Katerina Ivanovna was
on Sonia’s account. At first he was for making up to Sonia
himself and then all of a sudden he stood on his dignity:
‘how,’ said he, ‘can a highly educated man like me live in
the same rooms with a girl like that?’ And Katerina
Ivanovna would not let it pass, she stood up for her … and
so that’s how it happened. And Sonia comes to us now,
mostly after dark; she comforts Katerina Ivanovna and
gives her all she can…. She has a room at the
Kapernaumovs’ the tailors, she lodges with them;
Kapernaumov is a lame man with a cleft palate and all of
his numerous family have cleft palates too. And his wife,
too, has a cleft palate. They all live in one room, but Sonia
has her own, partitioned off…. Hm … yes … very poor
people and all with cleft palates … yes. Then I got up in
the morning, and put on my rags, lifted up my hands to
heaven and set off to his excellency Ivan Afanasyvitch. His
excellency Ivan Afanasyvitch, do you know him? No?
Well, then, it’s a man of God you don’t know. He is wax
… wax before the face of the Lord; even as wax melteth!
… His eyes were dim when he heard my story.
‘Marmeladov, once already you have deceived my
Crime and Punishment
38 of 967
expectations … I’ll take you once more on my own
responsibility’—that’s what he said, ‘remember,’ he said,
‘and now you can go.’ I kissed the dust at his feet—in
thought only, for in reality he would not have allowed me
to do it, being a statesman and a man of modern political
and enlightened ideas. I returned home, and when I
announced that I’d been taken back into the service and
should receive a salary, heavens, what a to-do there was
…!’
Marmeladov stopped again in violent excitement. At
that moment a whole party of revellers already drunk
came in from the street, and the sounds of a hired
concertina and the cracked piping voice of a child of seven
singing ‘The Hamlet’ were heard in the entry. The room
was filled with noise. The tavern-keeper and the boys
were busy with the new-comers. Marmeladov paying no
attention to the new arrivals continued his story. He
appeared by now to be extremely weak, but as he became
more and more drunk, he became more and more
talkative. The recollection of his recent success in getting
the situation seemed to revive him, and was positively
reflected in a sort of radiance on his face. Raskolnikov
listened attentively.
Crime and Punishment
39 of 967
‘That was five weeks ago, sir. Yes…. As soon as
Katerina Ivanovna and Sonia heard of it, mercy on us, it
was as though I stepped into the kingdom of Heaven. It
used to be: you can lie like a beast, nothing but abuse.
Now they were walking on tiptoe, hushing the children.
‘Semyon Zaharovitch is tired with his work at the office,
he is resting, shh!’ They made me coffee before I went to
work and boiled cream for me! They began to get real
cream for me, do you hear that? And how they managed
to get together the money for a decent outfit— eleven
roubles, fifty copecks, I can’t guess. Boots, cotton shirtfronts—
most magnificent, a uniform, they got up all in
splendid style, for eleven roubles and a half. The first
morning I came back from the office I found Katerina
Ivanovna had cooked two courses for dinner—soup and
salt meat with horse radish—which we had never dreamed
of till then. She had not any dresses … none at all, but she
got herself up as though she were going on a visit; and not
that she’d anything to do it with, she smartened herself up
with nothing at all, she’d done her hair nicely, put on a
clean collar of some sort, cuffs, and there she was, quite a
different person, she was younger and better looking.
Sonia, my little darling, had only helped with money ‘for
the time,’ she said, ‘it won’t do for me to come and see
eBook brought to you by
Create, view, and edit PDF. Download the free trial version.
Crime and Punishment
40 of 967
you too often. After dark maybe when no one can see.’
Do you hear, do you hear? I lay down for a nap after
dinner and what do you think: though Katerina Ivanovna
had quarrelled to the last degree with our landlady Amalia
Fyodorovna only a week before, she could not resist then
asking her in to coffee. For two hours they were sitting,
whispering together. ‘Semyon Zaharovitch is in the
service again, now, and receiving a salary,’ says she, ‘and
he went himself to his excellency and his excellency
himself came out to him, made all the others wait and led
Semyon Zaharovitch by the hand before everybody into
his study.’ Do you hear, do you hear? ‘To be sure,’ says
he, ‘Semyon Zaharovitch, remembering your past
services,’ says he, ‘and in spite of your propensity to that
foolish weakness, since you promise now and since
moreover we’ve got on badly without you,’ (do you hear,
do you hear;) ‘and so,’ says he, ‘I rely now on your word
as a gentleman.’ And all that, let me tell you, she has
simply made up for herself, and not simply out of
wantonness, for the sake of bragging; no, she believes it all
herself, she amuses herself with her own fancies, upon my
word she does! And I don’t blame her for it, no, I don’t
blame her! … Six days ago when I brought her my first
earnings in full—twenty-three roubles forty copecks
Crime and Punishment
41 of 967
altogether—she called me her poppet: ‘poppet,’ said she,
‘my little poppet.’ And when we were by ourselves, you
understand? You would not think me a beauty, you
would not think much of me as a husband, would you? …
Well, she pinched my cheek, ‘my little poppet,’ said she.’
Marmeladov broke off, tried to smile, but suddenly his
chin began to twitch. He controlled himself however. The
tavern, the degraded appearance of the man, the five
nights in the hay barge, and the pot of spirits, and yet this
poignant love for his wife and children bewildered his
listener. Raskolnikov listened intently but with a sick
sensation. He felt vexed that he had come here.
‘Honoured sir, honoured sir,’ cried Marmeladov
recovering himself— ‘Oh, sir, perhaps all this seems a
laughing matter to you, as it does to others, and perhaps I
am only worrying you with the stupidity of all the trivial
details of my home life, but it is not a laughing matter to
me. For I can feel it all…. And the whole of that heavenly
day of my life and the whole of that evening I passed in
fleeting dreams of how I would arrange it all, and how I
would dress all the children, and how I should give her
rest, and how I should rescue my own daughter from
dishonour and restore her to the bosom of her family….
And a great deal more…. Quite excusable, sir. Well, then,
Crime and Punishment
42 of 967
sir’ (Marmeladov suddenly gave a sort of start, raised his
head and gazed intently at his listener) ‘well, on the very
next day after all those dreams, that is to say, exactly five
days ago, in the evening, by a cunning trick, like a thief in
the night, I stole from Katerina Ivanovna the key of her
box, took out what was left of my earnings, how much it
was I have forgotten, and now look at me, all of you! It’s
the fifth day since I left home, and they are looking for me
there and it’s the end of my employment, and my uniform
is lying in a tavern on the Egyptian bridge. I exchanged it
for the garments I have on … and it’s the end of
everything!’
Marmeladov struck his forehead with his fist, clenched
his teeth, closed his eyes and leaned heavily with his elbow
on the table. But a minute later his face suddenly changed
and with a certain assumed slyness and affectation of
bravado, he glanced at Raskolnikov, laughed and said:
‘This morning I went to see Sonia, I went to ask her
for a pick-me-up! He-he-he!’
‘You don’t say she gave it to you?’ cried one of the
new-comers; he shouted the words and went off into a
guffaw.
‘This very quart was bought with her money,’
Marmeladov declared, addressing himself exclusively to
Crime and Punishment
43 of 967
Raskolnikov. ‘Thirty copecks she gave me with her own
hands, her last, all she had, as I saw…. She said nothing,
she only looked at me without a word…. Not on earth,
but up yonder … they grieve over men, they weep, but
they don’t blame them, they don’t blame them! But it
hurts more, it hurts more when they don’t blame! Thirty
copecks yes! And maybe she needs them now, eh? What
do you think, my dear sir? For now she’s got to keep up
her appearance. It costs money, that smartness, that special
smartness, you know? Do you understand? And there’s
pomatum, too, you see, she must have things; petticoats,
starched ones, shoes, too, real jaunty ones to show off her
foot when she has to step over a puddle. Do you
understand, sir, do you understand what all that smartness
means? And here I, her own father, here I took thirty
copecks of that money for a drink! And I am drinking it!
And I have already drunk it! Come, who will have pity on
a man like me, eh? Are you sorry for me, sir, or not? Tell
me, sir, are you sorry or not? He-he-he!’
He would have filled his glass, but there was no drink
left. The pot was empty.
‘What are you to be pitied for?’ shouted the tavernkeeper
who was again near them.
Crime and Punishment
44 of 967
Shouts of laughter and even oaths followed. The
laughter and the oaths came from those who were
listening and also from those who had heard nothing but
were simply looking at the figure of the discharged
government clerk.
‘To be pitied! Why am I to be pitied?’ Marmeladov
suddenly declaimed, standing up with his arm
outstretched, as though he had been only waiting for that
question.
‘Why am I to be pitied, you say? Yes! there’s nothing
to pity me for! I ought to be crucified, crucified on a
cross, not pitied! Crucify me, oh judge, crucify me but
pity me! And then I will go of myself to be crucified, for
it’s not merry-making I seek but tears and tribulation! …
Do you suppose, you that sell, that this pint of yours has
been sweet to me? It was tribulation I sought at the
bottom of it, tears and tribulation, and have found it, and I
have tasted it; but He will pity us Who has had pity on all
men, Who has understood all men and all things, He is the
One, He too is the judge. He will come in that day and
He will ask: ‘Where is the daughter who gave herself for
her cross, consumptive step-mother and for the little
children of another? Where is the daughter who had pity
upon the filthy drunkard, her earthly father, undismayed
Crime and Punishment
45 of 967
by his beastliness?’ And He will say, ‘Come to me! I have
already forgiven thee once…. I have forgiven thee
once…. Thy sins which are many are forgiven thee for
thou hast loved much….’ And he will forgive my Sonia,
He will forgive, I know it … I felt it in my heart when I
was with her just now! And He will judge and will forgive
all, the good and the evil, the wise and the meek…. And
when He has done with all of them, then He will
summon us. ‘You too come forth,’ He will say, ‘Come
forth ye drunkards, come forth, ye weak ones, come forth,
ye children of shame!’ And we shall all come forth,
without shame and shall stand before him. And He will
say unto us, ‘Ye are swine, made in the Image of the Beast
and with his mark; but come ye also!’ And the wise ones
and those of understanding will say, ‘Oh Lord, why dost
Thou receive these men?’ And He will say, ‘This is why I
receive them, oh ye wise, this is why I receive them, oh
ye of understanding, that not one of them believed himself
to be worthy of this.’ And He will hold out His hands to
us and we shall fall down before him … and we shall weep
… and we shall understand all things! Then we shall
understand all! … and all will understand, Katerina
Ivanovna even … she will understand…. Lord, Thy
kingdom come!’ And he sank down on the bench
Crime and Punishment
46 of 967
exhausted, and helpless, looking at no one, apparently
oblivious of his surroundings and plunged in deep
thought. His words had created a certain impression; there
was a moment of silence; but soon laughter and oaths
were heard again.
‘That’s his notion!’
‘Talked himself silly!’
‘A fine clerk he is!’
And so on, and so on.
‘Let us go, sir,’ said Marmeladov all at once, raising his
head and addressing Raskolnikov—‘come along with me
… Kozel’s house, looking into the yard. I’m going to
Katerina Ivanovna—time I did.’
Raskolnikov had for some time been wanting to go
and he had meant to help him. Marmeladov was much
unsteadier on his legs than in his speech and leaned heavily
on the young man. They had two or three hundred paces
to go. The drunken man was more and more overcome
by dismay and confusion as they drew nearer the house.
‘It’s not Katerina Ivanovna I am afraid of now,’ he
muttered in agitation—‘and that she will begin pulling my
hair. What does my hair matter! Bother my hair! That’s
what I say! Indeed it will be better if she does begin
pulling it, that’s not what I am afraid of … it’s her eyes I
Crime and Punishment
47 of 967
am afraid of … yes, her eyes … the red on her cheeks,
too, frightens me … and her breathing too…. Have you
noticed how people in that disease breathe … when they
are excited? I am frightened of the children’s crying,
too…. For if Sonia has not taken them food … I don’t
know what’s happened! I don’t know! But blows I am not
afraid of…. Know, sir, that such blows are not a pain to
me, but even an enjoyment. In fact I can’t get on without
it…. It’s better so. Let her strike me, it relieves her heart
… it’s better so … There is the house. The house of
Kozel, the cabinet-maker … a German, well-to-do. Lead
the way!’
They went in from the yard and up to the fourth
storey. The staircase got darker and darker as they went
up. It was nearly eleven o’clock and although in summer
in Petersburg there is no real night, yet it was quite dark at
the top of the stairs.
A grimy little door at the very top of the stairs stood
ajar. A very poor-looking room about ten paces long was
lighted up by a candle-end; the whole of it was visible
from the entrance. It was all in disorder, littered up with
rags of all sorts, especially children’s garments. Across the
furthest corner was stretched a ragged sheet. Behind it
probably was the bed. There was nothing in the room
Crime and Punishment
48 of 967
except two chairs and a sofa covered with American
leather, full of holes, before which stood an old deal
kitchen-table, unpainted and uncovered. At the edge of
the table stood a smoldering tallow-candle in an iron
candlestick. It appeared that the family had a room to
themselves, not part of a room, but their room was
practically a passage. The door leading to the other rooms,
or rather cupboards, into which Amalia Lippevechsel’s flat
was divided stood half open, and there was shouting,
uproar and laughter within. People seemed to be playing
cards and drinking tea there. Words of the most
unceremonious kind flew out from time to time.
Raskolnikov recognised Katerina Ivanovna at once.
She was a rather tall, slim and graceful woman, terribly
emaciated, with magnificent dark brown hair and with a
hectic flush in her cheeks. She was pacing up and down in
her little room, pressing her hands against her chest; her
lips were parched and her breathing came in nervous
broken gasps. Her eyes glittered as in fever and looked
about with a harsh immovable stare. And that
consumptive and excited face with the last flickering light
of the candle-end playing upon it made a sickening
impression. She seemed to Raskolnikov about thirty years
old and was certainly a strange wife for Marmeladov….
Crime and Punishment
49 of 967
She had not heard them and did not notice them coming
in. She seemed to be lost in thought, hearing and seeing
nothing. The room was close, but she had not opened the
window; a stench rose from the staircase, but the door on
to the stairs was not closed. From the inner rooms clouds
of tobacco smoke floated in, she kept coughing, but did
not close the door. The youngest child, a girl of six, was
asleep, sitting curled up on the floor with her head on the
sofa. A boy a year older stood crying and shaking in the
corner, probably he had just had a beating. Beside him
stood a girl of nine years old, tall and thin, wearing a thin
and ragged chemise with an ancient cashmere pelisse flung
over her bare shoulders, long outgrown and barely
reaching her knees. Her arm, as thin as a stick, was round
her brother’s neck. She was trying to comfort him,
whispering something to him, and doing all she could to
keep him from whimpering again. At the same time her
large dark eyes, which looked larger still from the thinness
of her frightened face, were watching her mother with
alarm. Marmeladov did not enter the door, but dropped
on his knees in the very doorway, pushing Raskolnikov in
front of him. The woman seeing a stranger stopped
indifferently facing him, coming to herself for a moment
and apparently wondering what he had come for. But
Crime and Punishment
50 of 967
evidently she decided that he was going into the next
room, as he had to pass through hers to get there. Taking
no further notice of him, she walked towards the outer
door to close it and uttered a sudden scream on seeing her
husband on his knees in the doorway.
‘Ah!’ she cried out in a frenzy, ‘he has come back! The
criminal! the monster! … And where is the money?
What’s in your pocket, show me! And your clothes are all
different! Where are your clothes? Where is the money!
Speak!’
And she fell to searching him. Marmeladov
submissively and obediently held up both arms to facilitate
the search. Not a farthing was there.
‘Where is the money?’ she cried—‘Mercy on us, can he
have drunk it all? There were twelve silver roubles left in
the chest!’ and in a fury she seized him by the hair and
dragged him into the room. Marmeladov seconded her
efforts by meekly crawling along on his knees.
‘And this is a consolation to me! This does not hurt me,
but is a positive con-so-la-tion, ho-nou-red sir,’ he called
out, shaken to and fro by his hair and even once striking
the ground with his forehead. The child asleep on the
floor woke up, and began to cry. The boy in the corner
losing all control began trembling and screaming and
Crime and Punishment
51 of 967
rushed to his sister in violent terror, almost in a fit. The
eldest girl was shaking like a leaf.
‘He’s drunk it! he’s drunk it all,’ the poor woman
screamed in despair —‘and his clothes are gone! And they
are hungry, hungry!’—and wringing her hands she pointed
to the children. ‘Oh, accursed life! And you, are you not
ashamed?’—she pounced all at once upon Raskolnikov—
‘from the tavern! Have you been drinking with him? You
have been drinking with him, too! Go away!’
The young man was hastening away without uttering a
word. The inner door was thrown wide open and
inquisitive faces were peering in at it. Coarse laughing
faces with pipes and cigarettes and heads wearing caps
thrust themselves in at the doorway. Further in could be
seen figures in dressing gowns flung open, in costumes of
unseemly scantiness, some of them with cards in their
hands. They were particularly diverted, when
Marmeladov, dragged about by his hair, shouted that it
was a consolation to him. They even began to come into
the room; at last a sinister shrill outcry was heard: this
came from Amalia Lippevechsel herself pushing her way
amongst them and trying to restore order after her own
fashion and for the hundredth time to frighten the poor
woman by ordering her with coarse abuse to clear out of
eBook brought to you by
Create, view, and edit PDF. Download the free trial version.
Crime and Punishment
52 of 967
the room next day. As he went out, Raskolnikov had time
to put his hand into his pocket, to snatch up the coppers
he had received in exchange for his rouble in the tavern
and to lay them unnoticed on the window. Afterwards on
the stairs, he changed his mind and would have gone back.
‘What a stupid thing I’ve done,’ he thought to himself,
‘they have Sonia and I want it myself.’ But reflecting that
it would be impossible to take it back now and that in any
case he would not have taken it, he dismissed it with a
wave of his hand and went back to his lodging. ‘Sonia
wants pomatum too,’ he said as he walked along the street,
and he laughed malignantly—‘such smartness costs
money…. Hm! And maybe Sonia herself will be bankrupt
to-day, for there is always a risk, hunting big game …
digging for gold … then they would all be without a crust
to-morrow except for my money. Hurrah for Sonia! What
a mine they’ve dug there! And they’re making the most of
it! Yes, they are making the most of it! They’ve wept over
it and grown used to it. Man grows used to everything,
the scoundrel!’
He sank into thought.
‘And what if I am wrong,’ he cried suddenly after a
moment’s thought. ‘What if man is not really a scoundrel,
man in general, I mean, the whole race of mankind—then
Crime and Punishment
53 of 967
all the rest is prejudice, simply artificial terrors and there
are no barriers and it’s all as it should be.’
Crime and Punishment
54 of 967
Chapter III
He waked up late next day after a broken sleep. But his
sleep had not refreshed him; he waked up bilious, irritable,
ill-tempered, and looked with hatred at his room. It was a
tiny cupboard of a room about six paces in length. It had a
poverty-stricken appearance with its dusty yellow paper
peeling off the walls, and it was so low-pitched that a man
of more than average height was ill at ease in it and felt
every moment that he would knock his head against the
ceiling. The furniture was in keeping with the room: there
were three old chairs, rather rickety; a painted table in the
corner on which lay a few manuscripts and books; the dust
that lay thick upon them showed that they had been long
untouched. A big clumsy sofa occupied almost the whole
of one wall and half the floor space of the room; it was
once covered with chintz, but was now in rags and served
Raskolnikov as a bed. Often he went to sleep on it, as he
was, without undressing, without sheets, wrapped in his
old student’s overcoat, with his head on one little pillow,
under which he heaped up all the linen he had, clean and
dirty, by way of a bolster. A little table stood in front of
the sofa.
Crime and Punishment
55 of 967
It would have been difficult to sink to a lower ebb of
disorder, but to Raskolnikov in his present state of mind
this was positively agreeable. He had got completely away
from everyone, like a tortoise in its shell, and even the
sight of a servant girl who had to wait upon him and
looked sometimes into his room made him writhe with
nervous irritation. He was in the condition that overtakes
some monomaniacs entirely concentrated upon one thing.
His landlady had for the last fortnight given up sending
him in meals, and he had not yet thought of expostulating
with her, though he went without his dinner. Nastasya,
the cook and only servant, was rather pleased at the
lodger’s mood and had entirely given up sweeping and
doing his room, only once a week or so she would stray
into his room with a broom. She waked him up that day.
‘Get up, why are you asleep?’ she called to him. ‘It’s
past nine, I have brought you some tea; will you have a
cup? I should think you’re fairly starving?’
Raskolnikov opened his eyes, started and recognised
Nastasya.
‘From the landlady, eh?’ he asked, slowly and with a
sickly face sitting up on the sofa.
‘From the landlady, indeed!’
Crime and Punishment
56 of 967
She set before him her own cracked teapot full of weak
and stale tea and laid two yellow lumps of sugar by the
side of it.
‘Here, Nastasya, take it please,’ he said, fumbling in his
pocket (for he had slept in his clothes) and taking out a
handful of coppers—‘run and buy me a loaf. And get me a
little sausage, the cheapest, at the pork-butcher’s.’
‘The loaf I’ll fetch you this very minute, but wouldn’t
you rather have some cabbage soup instead of sausage? It’s
capital soup, yesterday’s. I saved it for you yesterday, but
you came in late. It’s fine soup.’
When the soup had been brought, and he had begun
upon it, Nastasya sat down beside him on the sofa and
began chatting. She was a country peasant-woman and a
very talkative one.
‘Praskovya Pavlovna means to complain to the police
about you,’ she said.
He scowled.
‘To the police? What does she want?’
‘You don’t pay her money and you won’t turn out of
the room. That’s what she wants, to be sure.’
‘The devil, that’s the last straw,’ he muttered, grinding
his teeth, ‘no, that would not suit me … just now. She is a
fool,’ he added aloud. ‘I’ll go and talk to her to-day.’
Crime and Punishment
57 of 967
‘Fool she is and no mistake, just as I am. But why, if
you are so clever, do you lie here like a sack and have
nothing to show for it? One time you used to go out, you
say, to teach children. But why is it you do nothing now?’
‘I am doing …’ Raskolnikov began sullenly and
reluctantly.
‘What are you doing?’
‘Work …’
‘What sort of work?’
‘I am thinking,’ he answered seriously after a pause.
Nastasya was overcome with a fit of laughter. She was
given to laughter and when anything amused her, she
laughed inaudibly, quivering and shaking all over till she
felt ill.
‘And have you made much money by your thinking?’
she managed to articulate at last.
‘One can’t go out to give lessons without boots. And
I’m sick of it.’
‘Don’t quarrel with your bread and butter.’
‘They pay so little for lessons. What’s the use of a few
coppers?’ he answered, reluctantly, as though replying to
his own thought.
‘And you want to get a fortune all at once?’
He looked at her strangely.
Crime and Punishment
58 of 967
‘Yes, I want a fortune,’ he answered firmly, after a brief
pause.
‘Don’t be in such a hurry, you quite frighten me! Shall
I get you the loaf or not?’
‘As you please.’
‘Ah, I forgot! A letter came for you yesterday when
you were out.’
‘A letter? for me! from whom?’
‘I can’t say. I gave three copecks of my own to the
postman for it. Will you pay me back?’
‘Then bring it to me, for God’s sake, bring it,’ cried
Raskolnikov greatly excited—‘good God!’
A minute later the letter was brought him. That was it:
from his mother, from the province of R——. He turned
pale when he took it. It was a long while since he had
received a letter, but another feeling also suddenly stabbed
his heart.
‘Nastasya, leave me alone, for goodness’ sake; here are
your three copecks, but for goodness’ sake, make haste
and go!’
The letter was quivering in his hand; he did not want
to open it in her presence; he wanted to be left alone with
this letter. When Nastasya had gone out, he lifted it
quickly to his lips and kissed it; then he gazed intently at
Crime and Punishment
59 of 967
the address, the small, sloping handwriting, so dear and
familiar, of the mother who had once taught him to read
and write. He delayed; he seemed almost afraid of
something. At last he opened it; it was a thick heavy letter,
weighing over two ounces, two large sheets of note paper
were covered with very small handwriting.
"My dear Rodya,’ wrote his mother—‘it’s
two months since I last had a talk with you
by letter which has distressed me and even
kept me awake at night, thinking. But I am
sure you will not blame me for my
inevitable silence. You know how I love
you; you are all we have to look to,
Dounia and I, you are our all, our one
hope, our one stay. What a grief it was to
me when I heard that you had given up the
university some months ago, for want of
means to keep yourself and that you had
lost your lessons and your other work!
How could I help you out of my hundred
and twenty roubles a year pension? The
fifteen roubles I sent you four months ago I
borrowed, as you know, on security of my
pension, from Vassily Ivanovitch Vahrushin
a merchant of this town. He is a kindhearted
man and was a friend of your
Crime and Punishment
60 of 967
father’s too. But having given him the right
to receive the pension, I had to wait till the
debt was paid off and that is only just done,
so that I’ve been unable to send you
anything all this time. But now, thank
God, I believe I shall be able to send you
something more and in fact we may
congratulate ourselves on our good fortune
now, of which I hasten to inform you. In
the first place, would you have guessed,
dear Rodya, that your sister has been living
with me for the last six weeks and we shall
not be separated in the future. Thank God,
her sufferings are over, but I will tell you
everything in order, so that you may know
just how everything has happened and all
that we have hitherto concealed from you.
When you wrote to me two months ago
that you had heard that Dounia had a great
deal to put up with in the Svidrigraïlovs’
house, when you wrote that and asked me
to tell you all about it—what could I write
in answer to you? If I had written the
whole truth to you, I dare say you would
have thrown up everything and have come
to us, even if you had to walk all the way,
for I know your character and your
feelings, and you would not let your sister
be insulted. I was in despair myself, but
Crime and Punishment
61 of 967
what could I do? And, besides, I did not
know the whole truth myself then. What
made it all so difficult was that Dounia
received a hundred roubles in advance
when she took the place as governess in
their family, on condition of part of her
salary being deducted every month, and so
it was impossible to throw up the situation
without repaying the debt. This sum (now
I can explain it all to you, my precious
Rodya) she took chiefly in order to send
you sixty roubles, which you needed so
terribly then and which you received from
us last year. We deceived you then, writing
that this money came from Dounia’s
savings, but that was not so, and now I tell
you all about it, because, thank God, things
have suddenly changed for the better, and
that you may know how Dounia loves you
and what a heart she has. At first indeed
Mr. Svidrigaïlov treated her very rudely
and used to make disrespectful and jeering
remarks at table…. But I don’t want to go
into all those painful details, so as not to
worry you for nothing when it is now all
over. In short, in spite of the kind and
generous behaviour of Marfa Petrovna, Mr.
Svidrigaïlov’s wife, and all the rest of the
household, Dounia had a very hard time,
Crime and Punishment
62 of 967
especially when Mr. Svidrigaïlov, relapsing
into his old regimental habits, was under
the influence of Bacchus. And how do you
think it was all explained later on? Would
you believe that the crazy fellow had
conceived a passion for Dounia from the
beginning, but had concealed it under a
show of rudeness and contempt. Possibly
he was ashamed and horrified himself at his
own flighty hopes, considering his years
and his being the father of a family; and
that made him angry with Dounia. And
possibly, too, he hoped by his rude and
sneering behaviour to hide the truth from
others. But at last he lost all control and
had the face to make Dounia an open and
shameful proposal, promising her all sorts of
inducements and offering, besides, to throw
up everything and take her to another
estate of his, or even abroad. You can
imagine all she went through! To leave her
situation at once was impossible not only
on account of the money debt, but also to
spare the feelings of Marfa Petrovna, whose
suspicions would have been aroused: and
then Dounia would have been the cause of
a rupture in the family. And it would have
meant a terrible scandal for Dounia too;
that would have been inevitable. There
Crime and Punishment
63 of 967
were various other reasons owing to which
Dounia could not hope to escape from that
awful house for another six weeks. You
know Dounia, of course; you know how
clever she is and what a strong will she has.
Dounia can endure a great deal and even in
the most difficult cases she has the fortitude
to maintain her firmness. She did not even
write to me about everything for fear of
upsetting me, although we were constantly
in communication. It all ended very
unexpectedly. Marfa Petrovna accidentally
overheard her husband imploring Dounia
in the garden, and, putting quite a wrong
interpretation on the position, threw the
blame upon her, believing her to be the
cause of it all. An awful scene took place
between them on the spot in the garden;
Marfa Petrovna went so far as to strike
Dounia, refused to hear anything and was
shouting at her for a whole hour and then
gave orders that Dounia should be packed
off at once to me in a plain peasant’s cart,
into which they flung all her things, her
linen and her clothes, all pell-mell, without
folding it up and packing it. And a heavy
shower of rain came on, too, and Dounia,
insulted and put to shame, had to drive
with a peasant in an open cart all the
eBook brought to you by
Create, view, and edit PDF. Download the free trial version.
Crime and Punishment
64 of 967
seventeen versts into town. Only think
now what answer could I have sent to the
letter I received from you two months ago
and what could I have written? I was in
despair; I dared not write to you the truth
because you would have been very
unhappy, mortified and indignant, and yet
what could you do? You could only
perhaps ruin yourself, and, besides, Dounia
would not allow it; and fill up my letter
with trifles when my heart was so full of
sorrow, I could not. For a whole month
the town was full of gossip about this
scandal, and it came to such a pass that
Dounia and I dared not even go to church
on account of the contemptuous looks,
whispers, and even remarks made aloud
about us. All our acquaintances avoided us,
nobody even bowed to us in the street, and
I learnt that some shopmen and clerks were
intending to insult us in a shameful way,
smearing the gates of our house with pitch,
so that the landlord began to tell us we
must leave. All this was set going by Marfa
Petrovna who managed to slander Dounia
and throw dirt at her in every family. She
knows everyone in the neighbourhood,
and that month she was continually coming
into the town, and as she is rather talkative
Crime and Punishment
65 of 967
and fond of gossiping about her family
affairs and particularly of complaining to all
and each of her husband—which is not at
all right —so in a short time she had spread
her story not only in the town, but over
the whole surrounding district. It made me
ill, but Dounia bore it better than I did,
and if only you could have seen how she
endured it all and tried to comfort me and
cheer me up! She is an angel! But by God’s
mercy, our sufferings were cut short: Mr.
Svidrigaïlov returned to his senses and
repented and, probably feeling sorry for
Dounia, he laid before Marfa Petrovna a
complete and unmistakable proof of
Dounia’s innocence, in the form of a letter
Dounia had been forced to write and give
to him, before Marfa Petrovna came upon
them in the garden. This letter, which
remained in Mr. Svidrigaïlov’s hands after
her departure, she had written to refuse
personal explanations and secret interviews,
for which he was entreating her. In that
letter she reproached him with great heat
and indignation for the baseness of his
behaviour in regard to Marfa Petrovna,
reminding him that he was the father and
head of a family and telling him how
infamous it was of him to torment and
Crime and Punishment
66 of 967
make unhappy a defenceless girl, unhappy
enough already. Indeed, dear Rodya, the
letter was so nobly and touchingly written
that I sobbed when I read it and to this day
I cannot read it without tears. Moreover,
the evidence of the servants, too, cleared
Dounia’s reputation; they had seen and
known a great deal more than Mr.
Svidrigaïlov had himself supposed —as
indeed is always the case with servants.
Marfa Petrovna was completely taken
aback, and ‘again crushed’ as she said
herself to us, but she was completely
convinced of Dounia’s innocence. The
very next day, being Sunday, she went
straight to the Cathedral, knelt down and
prayed with tears to Our Lady to give her
strength to bear this new trial and to do her
duty. Then she came straight from the
Cathedral to us, told us the whole story,
wept bitterly and, fully penitent, she
embraced Dounia and besought her to
forgive her. The same morning without
any delay, she went round to all the houses
in the town and everywhere, shedding
tears, she asserted in the most flattering
terms Dounia’s innocence and the nobility
of her feelings and her behavior. What was
more, she showed and read to everyone the
Crime and Punishment
67 of 967
letter in Dounia’s own handwriting to Mr.
Svidrigaïlov and even allowed them to take
copies of it—which I must say I think was
superfluous. In this way she was busy for
several days in driving about the whole
town, because some people had taken
offence through precedence having been
given to others. And therefore they had to
take turns, so that in every house she was
expected before she arrived, and everyone
knew that on such and such a day Marfa
Petrovna would be reading the letter in
such and such a place and people assembled
for every reading of it, even many who had
heard it several times already both in their
own houses and in other people’s. In my
opinion a great deal, a very great deal of all
this was unnecessary; but that’s Marfa
Petrovna’s character. Anyway she
succeeded in completely re-establishing
Dounia’s reputation and the whole
ignominy of this affair rested as an indelible
disgrace upon her husband, as the only
person to blame, so that I really began to
feel sorry for him; it was really treating the
crazy fellow too harshly. Dounia was at
once asked to give lessons in several
families, but she refused. All of a sudden
everyone began to treat her with marked
Crime and Punishment
68 of 967
respect and all this did much to bring about
the event by which, one may say, our
whole fortunes are now transformed. You
must know, dear Rodya, that Dounia has a
suitor and that she has already consented to
marry him. I hasten to tell you all about the
matter, and though it has been arranged
without asking your consent, I think you
will not be aggrieved with me or with your
sister on that account, for you will see that
we could not wait and put off our decision
till we heard from you. And you could not
have judged all the facts without being on
the spot. This was how it happened. He is
already of the rank of a counsellor, Pyotr
Petrovitch Luzhin, and is distantly related
to Marfa Petrovna, who has been very
active in bringing the match about. It
began with his expressing through her his
desire to make our acquaintance. He was
properly received, drank coffee with us and
the very next day he sent us a letter in
which he very courteously made an offer
and begged for a speedy and decided
answer. He is a very busy man and is in a
great hurry to get to Petersburg, so that
every moment is precious to him. At first,
of course, we were greatly surprised, as it
had all happened so quickly and
Crime and Punishment
69 of 967
No comments:
Post a Comment