5 November, afternoon.—I am at least sane. Thank
God for that mercy at all events, though the proving it has
been dreadful. When I left Madam Mina sleeping within
the Holy circle, I took my way to the castle. The
blacksmith hammer which I took in the carriage from
Veresti was useful, though the doors were all open I broke
them off the rusty hinges, lest some ill intent or ill chance
should close them, so that being entered I might not get
out. Jonathan’s bitter experience served me here. By
memory of his diary I found my way to the old chapel, for
I knew that here my work lay. The air was oppressive. It
seemed as if there was some sulphurous fume, which at
times made me dizzy. Either there was a roaring in my
ears or I heard afar off the howl of wolves. Then I
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bethought me of my dear Madam Mina, and I was in
terrible plight. The dilemma had me between his horns.
Her, I had not dare to take into this place, but left safe
from the Vampire in that Holy circle. And yet even there
would be the wolf! I resolve me that my work lay here,
and that as to the wolves we must submit, if it were God’s
will. At any rate it was only death and freedom beyond.
So did I choose for her. Had it but been for myself the
choice had been easy, the maw of the wolf were better to
rest in than the grave of the Vampire! So I make my
choice to go on with my work.
I knew that there were at least three graves to find,
graves that are inhabit. So I search, and search, and I find
one of them. She lay in her Vampire sleep, so full of life
and voluptuous beauty that I shudder as though I have
come to do murder. Ah, I doubt not that in the old time,
when such things were, many a man who set forth to do
such a task as mine, found at the last his heart fail him, and
then his nerve. So he delay, and delay, and delay, till the
mere beauty and the fascination of the wanton Undead